IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Traffic congestion is becoming increasingly problematic in major cities. What solutions can you suggest to help solve the problem?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Nowadays, traffic congestion is becoming a serious problem in many big cities. Every day, thousands of people spend a lot of time in traffic. I think
this
Linking Words
 problem can be solved if the government improves public transportation and encourages people to try other ways of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, the state authorities should invest more money in public transport. Buses, trams and trains should be faster, cleaner and more comfortable.
As a result
Linking Words
, more
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 will choose public transport
instead
Linking Words
 of using their own cars.
For example
Linking Words
, if buses arrive on time and have enough space for passengers, many workers and students will leave their cars at home.
This
Linking Words
 will reduce the number of vehicles on the roads and make
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 easier for everyone.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, cities should encourage residents to go by bicycle and walk more often. They can build safe bike lanes and improve sidewalks.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the public can cycle for short distances
instead
Linking Words
 of driving.
For instance
Linking Words
, if someone lives only two or three
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 from work or school, cycling can be faster than waiting in a traffic jam.
This
Linking Words
 solution is
also
Linking Words
 good for the community’s health and helps reduce air pollution.
Body paragraph 3
Finally
Linking Words
, the state can introduce stricter rules for car use in busy city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, drivers may have to pay a special fee to enter crowded areas during rush hours.
As a result
Linking Words
, fewer people will drive into the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, and road congestion will become less serious.
Conclusion
In conclusion, congestion is a major problem, but it can be reduced. If the law improves public transport, supports cycling, and introduces better rules, cities will become cleaner, safer, and more comfortable places to live.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task response
Add a little more detail to one or two ideas. For example, say how the city can pay for better buses, or how it can make bike lanes safe.
Task response
Your examples are good, but they could be more real and exact. You could name a busy road, a work time, or a city plan.
Task response
The last idea is useful, but explain what people can do instead of driving into the center, such as using a park-and-ride bus.
Coherence and cohesion
Some link words are used many times, especially “As a result”. Use other simple links too, such as “This means”, “Because of this”, or “In this way”.
Coherence and cohesion
In the last paragraph, use “government” or “city leaders”, not “the law”. A law cannot improve transport; people in government can.
Coherence and cohesion
Make the end a little stronger by briefly restating the three main answers in one clear sentence.
Task response
You answer the question well. You give three clear ways to cut traffic: better public transport, more cycling and walking, and rules for cars in busy areas.
Task response
Your ideas are linked to the problem. You explain how each idea can mean fewer cars on the road.
Coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow. The order is clear: introduction, three main parts, and conclusion.
Coherence and cohesion
You use clear link words, such as “Firstly”, “Secondly”, “Finally”, “For example”, and “As a result”.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: