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Band 4.5

Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same jobs. What problems this causes? What are solutions?

#people #employment #jobs
Despite modern professions increase
such
 as online content maker,
blogger
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a blogger
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 with high payment which could attract millions of teenagers and adults there are other millions of young
people
 who want to
work
 for the government so the competition between two generations for white collar jobs
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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still exist. Even though elderly
people
 are retired they
prefer
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toprefer
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 stay at
workplace
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the workplace
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 as long as they can.
First
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The first
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 reason can be love towards their
work
 or in order to not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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lose the chance to earn money. I believe that
this
 problem is related to the low level of pension which retired
people
 get monthly. It is not deniable that these days, the cost of living is unreasonably increased, and undoubtedly not all citizens can afford what they really need or just want. Sometimes it may have devastating consequences
in
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for
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development
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the development
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 of the businesses,
moreover
, of the country.
For instance
,
old
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an old
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 generation used to
work
 and think systematically, they will not come up with any useful project
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to
new
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a new
the new
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 generation which
speculate
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speculates
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 differently and can offer new ideas
and
Correct word choice
apply
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furthermore
 they are aware of the latest technology. The solving problem lies in stopping the inflation of prices or increasing the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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 of the pension. Governments have to control
this
 case through a law.
Additionally
, they should promote new workplaces for those
people
 who just want to
work
 for pleasure. In conclusion, in my view, the root cause of rivalry is the
luck
Correct your spelling
lack
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 of sustained programs for retired
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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. Authorities ought to take into account
creation
Correct article usage
the creation
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the
Change preposition
of the
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comfortability
Replace the word
comfort
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for
Change preposition
of
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 our ancestors. So, they can relax, look after their children or pets and just advise us
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Intergenerational competition
  • Age discrimination
  • Adaptability
  • Hiring practices
  • Workforce diversity
  • Upskilling
  • Lifelong learning
  • Flexible working arrangements
  • Ageism
  • Technological proficiency
  • Productivity concerns
  • Diverse skillsets
  • Legislative protection
  • Employment equity
  • Biases
What to do next:
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