Nowadays many teenagers have a celebrity who they follow as a role model. Some people think this is not a good idea, because celebrities often set a bad example. Do you agree or disagree?

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Today in our world, hardly all
people
Use synonyms
surfing
Wrong verb form
surf
show examples
the internet, and probably you noticed how
celebrities
Use synonyms
affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
, some
people
Use synonyms
and me
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
that is
Linking Words
not a great example to follow, and others
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
that is
Linking Words
not a big problem. I
inclined
Add a missing verb
am inclined
show examples
to deem that half of
celebrities
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
kind healthy
people
Use synonyms
, and I have some reasons
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
that.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a lot of
celebrities
Use synonyms
have
such
Linking Words
bad habitats, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if
teenagers
Use synonyms
will follow
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
media stars, they maybe will suffer.
Secondly
Linking Words
, stars got a lot of achievements
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
compared to
teenagers
Use synonyms
, because of
that
Change the determiner
that teenager
those teenagers
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
should have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because most of all
celebrities
Use synonyms
speak with
people
Use synonyms
like
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
losers even if it is true. And
thirdly
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
celebrities
Add an article
the celebrities
show examples
are not
propogandists
Correct your spelling
propagandists
of
peaceful
Add an article
a peaceful
show examples
and healthy life, even if they do not
doing
Change the verb form
do
show examples
bad things, it does not mean that they can be icons for kids.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
I think every human can make a
decide
Replace the word
decision
show examples
for yourselves. All
celebrities
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
very well talented
people
Use synonyms
who can be
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
or
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
profession.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
a lot of boys trying to be like their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
athlete,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
my idol in
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
is Cristiano Ronaldo, and because of
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
I started to train three times a week. Usually for girls idols
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
singers or actors, and
this
Linking Words
is
also
Linking Words
cool.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I deem that follow to
celebrities
Use synonyms
as
a icons
Correct the article-noun agreement
an icon
icons
show examples
is not
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
wish
Add the particle
to wish
show examples
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
we need to be greater than they are
Submitted by argyn-34 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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