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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.

#cultures #children
From year to year, in some countries youngsters are frequently told that they can reach any one thing if they attempt stronger.
This
 statement has a lot of proponents and opponents.
Thus
 the question is whether
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is
this
 the right way to motivate young
people
 to act
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 The first and foremost key benefit is that from the youngest
ages
Add a comma
,ages
show examples
 parents should motivate their proteges to accomplish their goals. To cite an example, plenty of
people
 reached their dreams with hard and systematic work. It cannot be ignored that the main reason behind
this
 is that teaching young adults accuracy
as well as
 patience is crucial from an early age to achieve anything in their
life
. Another point worth noting is that it is worth getting used to the adult world from an early age, the reason behind
that is
 that in the future it will be easier in
life
 for
such
 teenagers.
On the contrary
,
people
 who hold another viewpoint say that children who learn hard work waste their childhood.
In addition
, youngsters can feel under control and depressed because they cannot do better. Most Asian parents usually force their children to be what they want
such
 as a doctor or an engineer.
As a result
, many teenagers have to read and study for around eight hours per day resulting in psychological problems
as well as
 sleeping issues.
To conclude
, many cultures say that in order to get something, folks need to try hard enough. Some
people
 understand
this
 law of
life
 and make an effort to improve their lives,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
 just find a short way to a successful
life
 and
as a consequence
 leave without anything.
Submitted by jula.wierzba on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Perseverance
  • Resilience
  • Self-esteem
  • Confidence
  • Goal-setting
  • Work ethic
  • Ambitious
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Frustration
  • Inadequate
  • Overemphasis
  • Stress
  • Pressure
  • Mental health
  • Resource availability
What to do next:
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