Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects other people think that in today's world subjects like science and tech are more important than history discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Without any doubt, society is divided into two paradoxical attitudes. It is opined by some that

history

is an essential subject is it connects us with the culture.

However

, some are giving importance to other subjects,

such

as science and tech.

Although

they have their reasons behind it, I support the former view. On the one hand, even though we are learning cultural and traditional values from the past, we are alive in

this

independent society, and living on our terms just because of the freedom fighters that are unknown by today’s generation.

For instance

, the renowned personality, B.R.Ambedkar not only gave vote rights to women but

also

eradicated the caste system of India, in which higher authority individuals were doing unsatisfactory behaviour with other classes of individuals. Currently, just because of him, we are living in a society where we are treated equally.

Thus

, the student must have knowledge about

history

, so that they can learn about their rights and

takes

Correct subject-verb agreement

take

show examples

action against unacceptable

attitude

Fix the agreement mistake

attitudes

show examples

On the other hand

History

is not a useful subject for some individuals, because learners are already learning under pressure. The vast volume of knowledge not only affecting their mental health

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

their physical abilities as well.

As a result

, it is difficult for them to manage time properly. In the end, it affects their grades. Apart

from

Correct pronoun usage

from that

show examples

history

is not a good source of earnings, but with advanced knowledge in ,science one can take care of their family's needs.

For Example

, in today’s scenario, the workers who are currently working in the science and tech fields, are getting high remuneration compared to other fields. In conclusion, we cannot completely eliminate

history

, because we are learning about our ancestors through it, which teaches ethical values to us. So we can adopt a practical approach through which children can thrive in their development as well.

Submitted by mamtamahey1996 on Sun Sep 10 2023

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General

Continue refining your introduction and conclusion to ensure a strong opening and closing statement, optionally adding a more direct statement of your opinion in the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider separating ideas into more paragraphs to enhance readability and structure. Each main idea could be explored more deeply in its own paragraph.

General

Use varied sentence structures to enhance flow and reader engagement. You're already doing a great job; further variation can make your writing even more captivating.

General

Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the consistent use of tenses throughout your essay to maintain accuracy and clarity.

Task Response

Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion, effectively covering the task requirement.

Task Achievement

You provided specific examples to support the discussion points, enhancing the persuasive quality of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

You've maintained a logical flow of ideas, making it easy to follow your arguments from start to finish.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects other people think that in today's world subjects like science and tech are more important than history discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a woman's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice.

Some people believe that uniform should be made compulsory part of the workplace, some disagree, discuss both view and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

The beat way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any examples.