In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

In recent years, some people
prefer
Wrong verb form
have preferred
show examples
to live in urban
areas
rather than
stay
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in rural
areas
. There is a massive migration of residents from village to city that
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
tremendously year by year. In my opinion, it is a good choice for the citizens,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
there should be a proper balance for both those
areas
Firstly
, It is an actual fact that some communities who live in rural
areas
are often complaining about the
facilities
in the village. Education and Healthcare are two important things that are needed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind in recent years. Many communities believe that those aspects are required to
escalate
Verb problem
improve
show examples
the quality of their life.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
facilities
such
as Cinemas,
Cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
, and
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
are provided better in the city. The other main problem is the healthcare facility in the village is not as good as
modern
Add an article
the modern
a modern
show examples
city has. One of the main causes is the lack of development in those
areas
. 50 years ago, many governments underestimated the issue of population and growth issues in their country.
As a result
, the number of residents is centralized in the modern town,
thus
it affects the development of supporting
facilities
inside the town as well, and it raises the disparity between those
areas
.
For example
, 70% of the cities in Indonesia are dominated by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
construction in the modern area.
In addition
, to avoid
this
kind of problem, the government should provide the same
facilities
in the rural
areas
which they provide in the urban
areas
. In conclusion, moving into the different
areas
is one thing that can be considered for the citizens if there is a balance between these two
areas
.
Therefore
, family and government should work together and develop the places. So, there is no need for societies to move into urban
areas
.
Submitted by adimk02 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
While the essay provides a complete response to the task, ensure your ideas are consistently clear and fully developed. This will enhance comprehension.
task response
Develop ideas further by incorporating more specific and varied examples. It will strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one to improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Consider expanding on the points made, providing fuller explanations. This will help in building your argument more thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure to the response.
task response
The topic is addressed, and there is a selection of relevant examples, even though they can be expanded further.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!