In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

#countries #people #areas

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In recent years, some people

prefer

Wrong verb form

have preferred

show examples

to live in urban

areas

rather than

stay

Verb problem

apply

show examples

in rural

areas

. There is a massive migration of residents from village to city that

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

tremendously year by year. In my opinion, it is a good choice for the citizens,

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

there should be a proper balance for both those

areas

Firstly

, It is an actual fact that some communities who live in rural

areas

are often complaining about the

facilities

in the village. Education and Healthcare are two important things that are needed by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mankind in recent years. Many communities believe that those aspects are required to

escalate

Verb problem

improve

show examples

the quality of their life.

For instance

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

facilities

such

as Cinemas,

Cafe

Fix the agreement mistake

cafes

show examples

, and

School

Fix the agreement mistake

Schools

show examples

are provided better in the city. The other main problem is the healthcare facility in the village is not as good as

modern

Add an article

the modern

a modern

show examples

city has. One of the main causes is the lack of development in those

areas

. 50 years ago, many governments underestimated the issue of population and growth issues in their country.

As a result

, the number of residents is centralized in the modern town,

thus

it affects the development of supporting

facilities

inside the town as well, and it raises the disparity between those

areas

For example

, 70% of the cities in Indonesia are dominated by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

construction in the modern area.

In addition

, to avoid

this

kind of problem, the government should provide the same

facilities

in the rural

areas

which they provide in the urban

areas

. In conclusion, moving into the different

areas

is one thing that can be considered for the citizens if there is a balance between these two

areas

Therefore

, family and government should work together and develop the places. So, there is no need for societies to move into urban

areas

Submitted by adimk02 on Fri Mar 24 2023

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task response

While the essay provides a complete response to the task, ensure your ideas are consistently clear and fully developed. This will enhance comprehension.

task response

Develop ideas further by incorporating more specific and varied examples. It will strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one to improve the logical flow of your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Consider expanding on the points made, providing fuller explanations. This will help in building your argument more thoroughly.

coherence and cohesion

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure to the response.

task response

The topic is addressed, and there is a selection of relevant examples, even though they can be expanded further.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

Far too little has been done to prevent animals and plants from dying out, although people have been aware of this problem for a long time. Why do people do so little about it? How can we prevent animals and plants from going extinct?

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.