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Band 4.5

Some experts suggest that when a country is already rich , any addition increase in economic wealth does not make its citizen happier To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#experts #country #addition #wealth #citizen
Many
specialist
Change to a plural noun
specialists
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 believe that citizens would not feel
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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over the moon with going up in economic
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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 when living in a wealthy condition .
While
 somebody
look
Change the verb form
looks
show examples
this
Change preposition
at this
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 opinion
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 an accurate thing , I would argue that
that is
 not right . On the one hand , it is obvious that when living in developed or developing countries ,
Add an article
the resident
a resident
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resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
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 may have many chances for getting on with good circumstances like
high
Add an article
the high
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 quality of
life
as well as
better
Add an article
a better
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 environment for promoting career .
For example
 , a person who chooses a nation which is rich to live
and
Change preposition
in and
show examples
 work , they would be given more enormous opportunities than others . The main reason is
because
Replace the word
that
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 the significant development supports them to build up important foundations which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 really useful and necessary . These play a role in daily lifestyle and targets in the future . Despite the fact that there are many positive methods
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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brought
Add a missing verb
are brought
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 by a rich country ,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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conceiving that people would not be happier with
extra
Add an article
an extra
the extra
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 increase in
economy
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the economy
an economy
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 is a serious mistake .
Resident
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Residents
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 can not understand that when they may run out of money and face up to poverties .
Limit
Correct article usage
The limit
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 of
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 is not possible to predict , so when
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
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 is affected by financial difficulties and
life
 standards become worse , people who always look forward to depending on
economical
Correct article usage
the economical
show examples
 advantages of
country
Add an article
the country
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 would not have
ability
Change the article
the ability
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 to cope with
challenges
Correct article usage
the challenges
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 of
life
 .
On the contrary
 ,
individual
Add an article
the individual
an individual
show examples
 tends to try to earn money more and more
may
Correct word choice
and may
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 have better adaption to afford
costs
Correct article usage
the costs
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 of living .
Moreover
 , they could contribute to development which helps
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 is richer and richer .
Overall
 , in spite of living in
any
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 best states , people still need to improve reasonably financial abilities to have a better quality of
life
 .
Then
 , being a part of valuable solutions that devote to
extreme
Add an article
the extreme
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 rise of
economical
Add an article
the economical
an economical
show examples
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
.
Submitted by honglethiminh1975 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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