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Band 5.5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
Smart phones
Correct your spelling
Smartphones
show examples
 represent the icon of technology which is very common among all ages of people. Especially,
this
 becomes the addiction of
children
.
This
 essay explains the reason for being a trouble for
students
as well as
 the drawbacks which happen
due to
this
 development. The main reason for addiction to the
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age. Most of the
students
 like to have
experiments
Change the verb form
experimented
show examples
 at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 young age and they don’t have enough knowledge to stand up with the right things. As an example, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 use their
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
 not for getting knowledge and most of them use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 for other activities
such
 as
play
Replace the word
playing
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 video games and
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
 movies.
Although
, all the video games create to getting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attraction and those attract
students
 fail to move with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
However
, they spend more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 on it and
doesn’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
don’t
show examples
 care about the environment where they live.
On the other hand
,
this
 leads to the unhealthy
generation
 who struggle with so many deceases
such
 as depression.
Furthermore
, most of the
students
 have missed their childhood experiences with the same age group
due to
this
 addiction.
Therefore
, the
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
 makes the
generation
 who are having less social knowledge.
In addition
,
this
 leads to the inactive
generation
 who
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
show examples
 to work in the real world and it generates unskilled robots
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the workforce.
Moreover
,
children
 become irresponsible
for
Change preposition
towards
show examples
 their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
To sum up
, the time of
spend
Change the form of the verb
spending
show examples
 on
Add an article
a smartphone
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
 should replace with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledgeable activities,
also
children
 should build
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bond with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. I believe
this
 trend
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
 to less psychological growth.
Submitted by uddeepa.eashani96 on

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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