IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

governments should spend tax money on public libraries rather than public transportation improvements. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #tax #money #libraries #transportation #improvements
Nowadays, numerous people realize the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 of
libraries
 to their daily life and work.
As a result
, residents think their government should spend tax
budge
Correct your spelling
budget
show examples
 on public
libraries
 rather than public means of
transportation
.
However
, in my
viewpoint
Add a comma
,viewpoint
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree with their
Correct your spelling
opinion
oppinion
Correct your spelling
opinion
 because of the On the one hand, public
libraries
 bring local residents a large number of benefits
such
 as
Correct article usage
a slient
show examples
slient
Correct your spelling
client
silent
 place
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them more concentrate on working , or a vast area to finish group
assingments
Correct your spelling
assignments
.
Moreover
, they
also
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 a big data
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
,
because
Correct word choice
and because
show examples
 of various books
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
here,
therefore
 humans often choose them to look up
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 for
researching
Replace the word
research
show examples
.
For example
, my high school is beside a library,
hence
 after my
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 go to one to study with my friends
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
several problems in studying. I
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 my efficiency
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 studying in
libraries
 is much higher than in my house, and numerous
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
 have the same conclusion.
Otherwise
, public
transportation
 has significantly
contribute
Change the verb form
contributed
show examples
 to
save
Change the verb form
saving
show examples
 driving time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 traffic jams.Developed countries are a good example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 statement, a huge number of public
transportation
 like underground electrical trains,
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
, etc help traffic jams can be seen in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 countries. Another benefit of investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 public
transportation
is connect
Change the verb form
is connected
is connecting
show examples
 rural areas with urban, which can make
over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
 went down, and people can work far from their
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
.
To sum up
, both of them have different benefits,
thus
 governments should consider cautiously
to use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
dweller
Change preposition
of dweller
show examples
 tax efficiency and bring
bring
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
the greatest benefit possible.
Submitted by duongducanh06 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: