Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, we have a lot of crime in the world, especially among youth.
This
appears that there would be three main roots for the problem and several effects could be seen.
This
essay will discuss the origin and the impact of the matter. The foremost reason for increasing
crimes
especially among young communities could be social media. Some physiologists assert that social media is one of the leading causes of soaring criminal challenges among youth.
This
means that young people choose mistake role models from that area and they want to display their abilities so they commit
crimes
and unsociable behaviours. The second reason can be family
for example
children
who have problems in the household have the highest rate of crime.
Finally
, the most important reason would be drugs, some young people use drugs to increase their self-confidence. they think they are the champions and live as legends at first they use it as a hobby but not only do they become addicted but
also
start committing
crimes
. Nowadays there would be many solutions which could decrease the census of crime rate among young generations. The first step would be the psychological diagnosis for
children
.
This
means that all
children
should consult with psychologists and take a report about their manner status to be monitored in the future for committing possible
crimes
.
Furthermore
, the other way is filtering social media by age.
For example
, a child is not permitted to watch violent content and images even some sort of artificial intelligence issues.
In addition
, governments should have restricted and rigid laws and rules about consuming drugs for youth. It means many
crimes
are committed because of drug abuse which could decrease by state patrolling. the final and foremost remedy is providing a peaceful atmosphere for
children
in the family
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
making friendly relationships with
children
and spending time together and Trying to get to know them. Close bind family can prohibit any kind of unsocial behaviour and
crimes
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar & Style
Be sure to carefully proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical mistakes and enhance your phrasing for greater clarity and a more professional presentation.
Content Focus & Development
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question by focusing on the specified causes and solutions. Provide clear, specific examples and link them effectively to the causes or solutions you are discussing.
Structure & Linking
Enhance coherence by linking ideas more fluidly between paragraphs and within them. Use a variety of transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument more seamlessly.
Structure
The essay presents a logical structure, with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion.
Content Relevance
Your essay does a good job introducing relevant causes and proposing a range of solutions, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Critical Thinking
You've provided a diverse set of reasons and solutions, which showcases an ability to think critically about the subject.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: