Both the poor and rich people find accessibility into university difficult. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #accessibility #university

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Some argued that both wealthy and poor people experienced the same difficulty in terms of university admission.

However

Linking Words

, from an under-developing country perspective, I completely disagree with

this

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idea. Surprisingly, some people believe that the university entrance examination treated everyone equally,

however

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this

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is true only from the rich family's point of view. Because a wealthy family can afford outside tutors, which sometimes can cost more than the school tuition fee, a student will have a higher chance to get into the university.

For example

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, more than 90% of

students

Use synonyms

in Thailand were enrolled in some type of tutor class. Not only because lessons taught in school are too simple, but because by receiving extra classes, these

students

Use synonyms

can increase their admission rate.

On the other hand

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, for an unwealthy family, enrolling their child on a tutoring class is too expensive. Because of their low income, many parents could not afford extra classes, which normally included leaked entrance exam official questions, for their children.

Hence

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, the child can only depend on information given by their local school.

Moreover

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, the ratio of

students

Use synonyms

who graduated from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high schools located in the city is higher than that of

students

Use synonyms

who came from suburban schools.

This

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indicates that rich families that live in a city are able to support their children better. In conclusion, I could not agree more that financial support is crucial for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

admission. The higher the family's wealth status is

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the more resources, support and enrollment

chance

Fix the agreement mistake

chances

show examples

a student will get.

Submitted by purita.w on Fri Mar 24 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Both the poor and rich people find accessibility into university difficult. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation, Describe some of the problems over reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast transport for cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some parents buy their kids a large number of toys to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having large numbers of toys.

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.