Some people are of the opinion that there should be a car-free day once every month, on which no private vehicles are allowed on the road. Discuss the advantages and possible disadvantages

These days, cars and other electronic transportation are commonly seen around the road.
Although
certain people may need it for work or any other emergencies, it is safe to say that it wouldn't be harmful to anyone to hold a car-free day once a month. There seem to be a lot of benefits to roads without cars. In Indonesia, we are mostly known for the car-free days that are held during weekends,
therefore
, it is a perfect destination for families and friends to enjoy the morning with a jog or walk around the road peacefully. Not only that, it
also
allows people to spend more quality time with a healthier activity outdoors.
For example
, hanging out with friends on school days off, or having to walk your cat around the area without having to be surrounded by loud noises or pollution coming from engines in transportation.
On the other hand
, closing a path may be a disturbance to some people, especially letting it close for a long duration of hours.
For instance
, drivers and office workers may find it difficult and end up using an alternative route
that is
not always as close as usual. In the same way, emergencies like ambulance may struggle to find a better route to pass and certain situations and times may be cruel to waste even a second. In conclusion, appointing a car-free day once a month may seem like a great idea,
whereas
, it is an agenda that could be filled with a lot of advantages to us society. After a thorough observation, a road without cars held once a month could become a healthy and bonding activity to spend with your family and friends.
Submitted by syaaakhansa on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents a clear structure but can be improved by using a wider range of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and discourse markers, to link your ideas more smoothly. Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and follow it with detailed examples or explanations.
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You have addressed the task sufficiently by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a car-free day. For a higher score, further develop your arguments with more detailed examples and deeper analysis. Additionally, address the implications or possible solutions for the disadvantages you've mentioned.

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