IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people prefer living in hot climates while others prefer colder countries. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #climates #countries
It has been argued by many individuals that warm weather is for living,
whereas
 opponents prefer the winter
season
. In my opinion, I favour the former perspective;
however
,
this
 essay shall dwell on both viewpoints in the subsequent paragraphs
along with
 a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, the prominent benefit of living in
summer
Add an article
the summer
show examples
season
 will be able to lead a healthy lifestyle. In warmer countries,
people
 may easily go outside which gives them the ability to do activities
such
 as jogging, skipping, running, swimming and
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
 sports games.
For instance
, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that 90% of human beings
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 China and Japan prefer to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
take part in outdoor activities in hot climates with the assistance of
this
 they have become
happiest
Add an article
a happiest
show examples
 and healthier
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Hence
, it puts
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 effect on
people
's well-being.
On the other hand
,
people
 might enjoy the beauty of the colder weather. In the chilly
season
,
snow fall
Correct your spelling
snowfall
show examples
 into the hills which gives
beautiful
Add an article
a beautiful
show examples
 view and the commoners could take pictures or
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 videos of it for the memory of their entire life
as well as
 the population can wear fashionable outfits in that
season
.
For example
, it is published an article by The Tribune newspaper showed that approximately 55% of humans have fun in
cold
Add an article
the cold
show examples
season
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 making videos and uploaded on
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
.
Due to
 above mentioned, I favour the same.
To conclude
,
although
people
 might become health-conscious
people
 when they
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise on the ground or in parks, I personally believed that
people
 can see glaciers.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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