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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of complaints made about noise to Environmental Health authorities in the city of Newtown between 1980 and 1996. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of complaints made about noise to Environmental Health authorities in the city of Newtown between 1980 and 1996. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#complaints #noise #health #authorities #city #newtown #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the
amount
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number
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 of
complaints
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 received by the Environmental Health authorities regarding
noise
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 between the years 1980 and 1996, in the city of Newtown. The number of
noise
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complaints
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 related to
road
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 works, factories and traffic showed a significant rise over the period,
while
Linking Words
 the
quantity
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number
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 of
noise
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complaints
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 regarding domestic or household experienced a downward trend. In the year 1980, the
amount
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number
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 of
noise
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complaints
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due to
Linking Words
road
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 works, factories and traffic
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 nearly 500, 400 and 300 respectively.
Road
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work related
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work-related
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complaints
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 remained steady until around 1984 after which there was a slight decrease to around 400
complaints
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 and
then
Linking Words
 after 2 years of remaining the same amount, they experienced a dramatic rise, eventually reaching
to
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apply
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just over 1200
complaints
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 by 1996. In the meantime, the figures for
noise
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complaints
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due to
Linking Words
 factories had a sudden increase until 1982 followed by a steady rise reaching its peak of approximately 750
complaints
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 in 1990 after which there was a small decrease eventually reaching
to
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apply
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around 700
complaints
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 by 1996. During 1980-1982, the values for
traffic related
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traffic-related
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noise
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complaints
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 remained the same,
however
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
they
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 had decreased
100
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by 100
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noise
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complaints
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less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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by 1986.
Similarly
Linking Words
, to
road
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 works,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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remained steady for 2 years and
then
Linking Words
 rose to
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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around 600
noise
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complaints
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 by 1996.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
complaints
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 caused by domestic or household experienced a downward trend over the period. By the year
1996
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,1996
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 it had decreased by almost above 500
complaints
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 (100
noise
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complaints
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).
Submitted by momina-98 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words complaints, noise, road with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "downward" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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