IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some believe that traffic problems in cities can best be resolved by investing in urban infrastructure while others feel there are superior solutions. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#believe #traffic #cities #infrastructure
With the development of urbanization, there are more and more cars entering big
cities
, so
traffic
 issues there become serious. Some
people
 think that these problems can be solved
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 investing in urban infrastructure. I believe that
this
 can be a solution, but improving rural area
also
 works. It is generally accepted that constructing infrastructure in urban
areas
 can alleviate the
traffic
 problem
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since residents will have more choices. If the downtown area of a city does not have underground and buses,
people
 living there must drive their own cars if they want to travel more than 3 kilometres. Since small vehicles take up lots of space, roads will be very congested.
On the contrary
, if a subway is built in a city, some
people
 will choose to take them
instead
 of their vehicles.
Moreover
, a train is capable of carrying hundreds of
people
, which means hundreds of cars will disappear on the road. Eventually, when more and more
people
 use the metro, the
traffic
 on the road will improve significantly.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
investment in rural
areas
 can
also
 mitigate the
traffic
 issues in
cities
. As we may know,
cities
 are attractive to
people
 because they can provide sufficient job opportunities, good medical service, and a massive number of shopping malls. If residents can find a great deal of these resources in their hometown, they would probably decide not to move to
cities
. By opening more shops and constructing more roads in underdeveloped
areas
, the gap between urban and rural
areas
 will be narrowed.
Consequently
, some immigrants in big
cities
 will
also
 go back to their hometowns. As the number of
people
 in
cities
 is declining, the
traffic
 will become more fluent. In conclusion, the investment and construction of facilities in
cities
 can reduce the
traffic
 problem there, because
people
 will have additional options for their travel.
However
, upgrading the infrastructure in rural
areas
 can
also
 resolve the problem, since
cities
 will become less appealing and some residents will leave
cities
.
Submitted by zicheng_l on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: