Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns leaving only old people in the countrysides. What problem does this cause? What can be done to solve the problem
Nowadays in many countries, there are multiple challenges that the
government
faces every day. One of them, some young Use synonyms
people
are leaving their homes in regional areas for urban Use synonyms
cities
. They keep the elderly alone by themself. Use synonyms
This
essay will look at the reasons for Linking Words
this
and propose some solutions.
One of the main causes of the Linking Words
problem
is decreasing the gross of food. When the young are keeping the old Use synonyms
people
alone, they cannot develop their earth by themself, because they have difficulty thinking and they cannot have enough power. Use synonyms
As a result
, the amount of grosser will be dropped and the cost of them will be increased. Linking Words
For example
, in Japan, the number of young Linking Words
people
decreases because of moving to a modern city like Tokyo. Use synonyms
Therefore
, the amount of food has become overly expensive. The solution is for the Linking Words
government
to build the region area to be the same as the modern city.
Another Use synonyms
problem
is that the chance of getting a job will decrease. Many young Use synonyms
people
come to the urban Use synonyms
cities
, where they look for a job. So the chance of the job will be reduced because of the higher demand. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, the weight of the payment will be less. Linking Words
For instance
, if there is offered in a restaurant for the waiter and they pay 10$ per hour, perhaps Linking Words
people
from the countryside will accept it even by 7$ per hour. To tackle Use synonyms
this
issue, the Linking Words
government
should take serious action on Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
problem
by encouraging young Use synonyms
people
to stay in their Use synonyms
cities
.
In conclusion, young Use synonyms
people
are leaving their homes in the countryside to the modern Use synonyms
cities
and towns. The Use synonyms
people
could keep the elderly Use synonyms
people
alone by themself. Use synonyms
This
is a serious Linking Words
problem
, and unless we can get more young Use synonyms
people
in the region. The solution comes from the Use synonyms
government
by providing good services in the countryside.Use synonyms
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task achievement
The response covers the main aspects of the task, but it could be more comprehensive in analyzing the effects of young people leaving rural areas and the different solutions that can be implemented.
task achievement
The essay communicates ideas clearly, but sometimes lacks depth in discussing the provided reasons and solutions.
task achievement
The examples provided should be more detailed and varied to effectively support the arguments made. Consider including more real-world examples or broader contexts.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is generally logical, but there is room for improvement in the transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the essay's flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
It's positive that the essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, summarizing the main points. Consider refining these sections to offer a more compelling opening and closing.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported to an extent, but could benefit from more detailed explanations or evidence to enhance argument strength.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains both an introduction and a conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
The writer addresses the task by discussing both the problem and solutions, as required by the prompt.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite