IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people around the world are still relying on the private car as their major mean of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest some solutions

#people #world #car #transportation #over-reliance #cars
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 who are living
different
Change preposition
in different
show examples
 countries, still depend on a private
car
Use synonyms
 for
transportation
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 purposes. There is a problem related to private
transportation
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, especially over-reliance on
cars
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, and
this
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 essay will discuss possible causes and possible solutions for
this
Linking Words
 problem. The main causes of reliance on private
cars
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 are
air
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pollution
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 and
traffic
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 congestion.
For those
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Those
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 who consider using a private
car
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 without thinking
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 consequences should be aware of
air
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pollution
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 mostly. Polluted
air
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 has a poor impact on human health and natural habitat.
Air
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pollution
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 results in
increased
Add an article
an increased
the increased
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 incidence of respiratory diseases
such
Linking Words
 as lung cancer and COPD.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
air
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pollution
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 collapses many
species
Change noun form
species'
specy's
show examples
 respiratory
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, doves are the most
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 bird species
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
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 and their oxygen capacity
reduced
Add a missing verb
is reduced
show examples
nearly
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by nearly
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 %50.
People
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 should reduce their carbon footprint
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 changing their
transportation
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 habits. Some citizens have more than 2 private
cars
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 and they must
be consider
Change the verb form
consider
show examples
 owning only 1 private
car
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 for
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
each household. The latter
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
 of
demanding
Replace the word
demand
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 private
cars
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
traffic
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 congestion in
a rush hours
Correct the article-noun agreement
rush hours
a rush hour
show examples
.
People
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 should be aware of the
time
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 they spent
on
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in
show examples
traffic
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. They have to understand their precious
time
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 wasting
unnecessary
Change the adjective
unnecessarily
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.
For example
Linking Words
, In
Istanbul
Add a comma
,Istanbul
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 an
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
 worker spent %20 of his/her
time
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at
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on
show examples
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
time
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 will never
restored
Change the verb form
be restored
restore
show examples
 back and affects
people
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's
remained
Wrong verb form
remaining
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 life.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, driving in the middle of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 is considered dangerous for employees.
According to
Linking Words
 their mood, they can easily
distracted
Change the verb form
be distracted
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
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 their phones or radios during
traffic
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, public
transportation
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 can be the key
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 these distractors, especially
for
Change preposition
during
show examples
 rush hours. In conclusion, over-reliance on private
cars
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 is
serious
Add an article
a serious
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 problem around the world.
People
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 should
be consider
Change the verb form
consider
show examples
 using public
transportation
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 to decrease their carbon footprints.
In addition
Linking Words
, using
private
Add an article
a private
the private
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 can be dangerous during rush hours and
people
Use synonyms
 can be easily distracted
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 external factors.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-reliance
  • traffic congestion
  • commute times
  • reduced productivity
  • environmental issues
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • climate change
  • public health problems
  • respiratory issues
  • poor air quality
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • obesity
  • economic costs
  • road maintenance
  • healthcare expenses
  • pollution-related diseases
  • accidents
  • degradation
  • urban spaces
  • green spaces
  • public use
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