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Writing Samples
Band 8

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum duringthe year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show theresult of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visitduring the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum duringthe year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show theresult of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visitduring the same two periods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
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The table compares the figures for
people
Use synonyms
 who visited
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 throughout the years before and after its refurbishment and two pie charts illustrate
visitors
Use synonyms
' responses to surveys concerning their satisfaction.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent that after
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 was renovated, more
visitors
Use synonyms
 travelled to
this
Linking Words
 place and the research about
people
Use synonyms
's satisfaction revealed that fewer citizens were disgruntled with
this
Linking Words
museum
Use synonyms
. Looking at the table
first,
Linking Words
there were 74000
visitors
Use synonyms
 who went to
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Museum
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 before the refurbishment.
However
Linking Words
, an obvious increment can be seen after the renovation, with the number increasing to 92000. In terms of
visitors
Use synonyms
' positive feedback after visiting, the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who were rather satisfied with
Ashdown
Use synonyms
Museum
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 grew significantly, from 15% to 35%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who were fairly pleased with their visiting experience rose by 10%, which predominated among five groups of
people
Use synonyms
 in the year after restoration. More striking is that approximately 40% of
people
Use synonyms
 were disgruntled with the
museum
Use synonyms
 before restoration, but decreased dramatically after refurbishment, falling to 15%. The proportion of extremely discontented
visitors
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 saw a slight decline from 10% to 5%. Interestingly, the figure for
people
Use synonyms
 with no response to the survey turned out to be the same in two years, at 5%.
Submitted by Evalynn on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, ashdown, museum, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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