Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called "peer pressure". Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages.

In contemporary society, young individuals who have been subject to peer
pressure
may have begun to demonstrate emotional and behavioural changes.
While
this
type of
pressure
can help teens consolidate their behaviour and their performance in the classroom, I assume that it can
also
have an adverse bearing on their mental health. It is undeniable that through regular interaction with constructive examples and perspectives of peers, who are in a similar age group or social status, the primary benefit for young students is the possibility of forming and maintaining frequent academic practices. Those adolescents tend to take others, especially those with whom they have admiration, as role models.
Consequently
, the presence of positive role models boosts the likelihood of academic and even social achievement among young pupils.
For example
, observing a peer’s success in a prestigious intellectual competition,
such
as Road to Mount Olympia - a well-known competition for outstanding students to showcase their intelligence - can motivate other students to study industriously and enhance their performance at school.
Nevertheless
, I believe that the adverse effects of peer
pressure
on an individual's mental well-being overshadow its benefits. It is worth noting that
this
tendency can increase stress levels in the young, which in turn can make them feel inadequate or become reticent when expressing their opinions and personal ideas. If a sense of anxiety and depression persists without proper adjustment,
this
can result in the suicide of many emotionally driven young people, a very undesirable outcome.
For example
, in 2022, a Vietnamese boy committed suicide by jumping off a tall building as a form of protest against his father’s insistence that he
studied
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
for a long period of time at the expense of sleep and entertainment. He was so pressured by his father and peers to perform outstandingly in school
as well as
gain a respectable university in Hanoi that he made an impulsive decision to end his life. In conclusion, peer
pressure
has the potential to be a positive force for reinforcing personal abilities,
however
,I personally believe that
its
Correct your spelling
it has
show examples
highly
Correct article usage
a highly
show examples
devastating impact on students’ mentality.
Submitted by dangtranquoctrung01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Beware of run-on sentences. Try to break down your sentences if they are too long.
Content
Make sure all your points and examples directly answer the task prompt.
Structure
Try to include more connection words explicitly showing the reader the relationship between your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
What to do next:
Look at other essays: