Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

#topic #parents #children #toys

Toys

have always helped entertain

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

. It keeps them occupied and helps them learn new skills.People love to buy gifts and

toys

for their

children

. In some cases, parents buy too

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

toys

for their

children

While

some people think

this

is beneficial for their

children

, I think there are

also

some drawbacks for some reasons that are set out below. Nowadays, gifts are given to

children

as a symbol of a reward and most of the gifts include

toys

. In some cases, some parents give their

children

too many

toys

to play with. On one hand, by having many

toys

, they have a variety of choices to make in order to entertain themselves.

In addition

toys

such

as puzzles and crafting legos can develop

children

’s motoric skills and enhance their creativity.

Although

many

toys

give many choices for the

children

to pick, these habits can decrease their sense of appreciation. When

children

get too many

toys

, they tend to get bored easily from one toy to another.

As a result

, they will not learn how to show care and appreciation

Change preposition

for

show examples

materialistic things because they know that whenever they get bored, their parents will buy them more

toys

to play with.

Moreover

this

type of parenting can increase the possibility of raising a spoiled child

due to

giving many rewards and

toys

To conclude

, It is better to select specific

toys

for

children

that can help them gain important skills and

also

limit their

toys

to teach them how to take care

and

Change preposition

of and

show examples

appreciate

toys

Submitted by kelly on Wed Jun 26 2024

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task achievement

Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention studies or anecdotal evidence about the benefits of certain types of toys.

coherence cohesion

Work on transitioning more smoothly between ideas. For example, creating clearer links between paragraphs will improve the flow of your essay.

task achievement

Elaborate more on each point made. For example, when discussing how too many toys can lead to a lack of appreciation, you could delve deeper into psychological impacts or developmental theories.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the discussion well.

task achievement

The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people believe that a country’s wealth is dependant on the health of its citizens. Other people argue that education is a better indicator of a nation’s wealth and well-being. What is your opinion? What are some other factors that contribute to the growth and prosperity of a country?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environment problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You arranged to visit a friend in Australia, but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, explain the important event apologise for the situation suggest a new arrangement Write at least 150 words.