IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You study at a college in the city centre. You use public transport to get to the college but the bus service you use has changed. Write a letter to the manager of the bus company. In the letter, -Say who you are and the details of service you use -Explain the problem with the bus service -Suggest what you think the manager should do

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to you to express my disappointment with the changes to your monthly subscription policy. And I hope that you will consider an alteration . I had subscribed to the monthly plan , which is more suitable for my situation as a third-year student, and consists of 30 trips during the month. Let me explain my situation. I am a student at UQU University, which is located in the city centre. The new policy says that no student will be delivered to their desired gate
,
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 the bus driver is only responsible for delivering me to the primary gate , which is far from all of my classes. I kindly request a modification
on
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 these policies that would at least allow the driver to stop near the needed gates , so that the students would not be late for their lectures and face possible punishments. Thank you for your consideration. Best regards,

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coherence and cohesion
Add a clear introduction that states the purpose of your letter.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to separate your points into clear paragraphs for better clarity.
task achievement
Be more specific about how the changes affect your commuting experience.
task achievement
Use polite requests more clearly, like 'I would appreciate it if' instead of 'I kindly request'.
positive
You have a clear conclusion thanking the manager for their consideration.
positive
Your tone is polite and appropriate for a letter to a manager.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public transport
  • bus service
  • inconvenience
  • schedule change
  • travel time
  • commute
  • reinstatement
  • feedback
  • survey
  • accessibility
What to do next:
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