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Band 5

In some countries, people follow the latest fashion and hair styles. In your opinion what is influencing this? Is this a good or bad thing.

#countries #people #fashion #hair #styles
The current generation is too
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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dwelled in fashion, especially the youth.
This
 is a result of social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
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,
people
 following the movie and sports icons and modelling them. In my opinion,
this
 has
negative
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a negative
show examples
 impact on
people
 by affecting their self-esteem and loss of money.
Firstly
, when individuals try to follow the trend made by
influencer's
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influencer
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 they have to invest a lot of their income
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
latest
Add an article
the latest
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design
Fix the agreement mistake
designs
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 and high brands which impacts their savings.
For example
, a person from
Correct article usage
a middle
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middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
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 family, earning 1000
Dollor
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Dollar
 per week,
spending
Correct word choice
and spending
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 on
luxuary
Correct your spelling
luxury
 brands like Gucci or Prada would be left with less money to meet their basic needs. leaving with nothing in
bank
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the bank
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 for an emergency need.
Secondly
, not meeting social standards impact
people
's mental health.
For instance
,
this
 can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 one's self-esteem and even lead to depression. To exemplify, there was an Indian news article which stated a 15year old tried to end her life as her parents didn't agree to buy a
luxuary
Correct your spelling
luxury
 watch.
This
 child had peer pressure to meet her group's standards which she couldn't and fell into
anxiety
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the anxiety
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of
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about
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 losing her friends.
This
 is the extreme
how
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of how
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 it can
effect
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affect
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 our thought processing and
wellbeing
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well-being
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.
To sum up
, following current
trend
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trends
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 and
luxuary
Correct your spelling
luxury
 brands
results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
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people
to spend
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spending
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 a lot of money, leaving nothing for
daily
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the daily
a daily
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expense
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expenses
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. Meanwhile, Youth especially are found to suffer from ongoing mental health issues
as a result
 of not
able
Add a missing verb
being able
show examples
 to afford
this
 lavishness.
Submitted by liyajayas on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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