The graph below gives information about the number of Catholics residing in different nations, during 2010-2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below gives information about the number of Catholics residing in different nations, during 2010-2013. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The given bar chart provides data about what number of
Catholics
lived
Correct pronoun usage
who lived
show examples
either in China, India, the
Philippines
, Vietnam, Korea, and
Japan
in the years 2010 and 2013.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that the
Philippines
had the biggest community of
Catholics
living there,
whereas
the smallest one was in
Japan
. In 2010, the
Philippines
, as just said, had the most notable number of
Catholics
, counting almost 76,000,000 people. The second greatest number was detained by India just followed by China, achieving together just around a fourth of the
Philippines
' religious community. Next in line are Vietnam and Korea at approximately 5
million
and
then
Japan
at just 400,000. About 2013, the
Philippines
had a slight decrease of roughly 4
million
just like Korea. The other countries' Catholic communities,
instead
, notably grew, as China and India rose to 15
million
and 19
million
, respectively.
Finally
, Vietnam and
Japan
remained almost unchanged as the former declined by around 300,000
Catholics
whereas
the latter gained around 100,000 of them.
Submitted by marianiculescu1103 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words catholics, philippines, japan, million with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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