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Band 7.5

The graph below gives information about the number of Catholics residing in different nations, during 2010-2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below gives information about the number of Catholics residing in different nations, during 2010-2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The given bar chart provides data about what number of
Catholics
Use synonyms
lived
Correct pronoun usage
who lived
show examples
 either in China, India, the
Philippines
Use synonyms
, Vietnam, Korea, and
Japan
Use synonyms
 in the years 2010 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the
Philippines
Use synonyms
 had the biggest community of
Catholics
Use synonyms
 living there,
whereas
Linking Words
 the smallest one was in
Japan
Use synonyms
. In 2010, the
Philippines
Use synonyms
, as just said, had the most notable number of
Catholics
Use synonyms
, counting almost 76,000,000 people. The second greatest number was detained by India just followed by China, achieving together just around a fourth of the
Philippines
Use synonyms
' religious community. Next in line are Vietnam and Korea at approximately 5
million
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 at just 400,000. About 2013, the
Philippines
Use synonyms
 had a slight decrease of roughly 4
million
Use synonyms
 just like Korea. The other countries' Catholic communities,
instead
Linking Words
, notably grew, as China and India rose to 15
million
Use synonyms
 and 19
million
Use synonyms
, respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
, Vietnam and
Japan
Use synonyms
 remained almost unchanged as the former declined by around 300,000
Catholics
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 the latter gained around 100,000 of them.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words catholics, philippines, japan, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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