For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays,
people
wish to earn money
. However
,for many people
, working hard for earnings
Correct your spelling
earning
money
is not the main cause. I absolutely disagree with this
argument because other than money
there were
other reasons for Wrong verb form
are
which
Correct word choice
why
people
work
hard and the following paragraphs express my view .
To begin
with, there are many reasons why people
work
diligently. First and foremost, people
tend to work
potently and as Correct article usage
a result
result
they will be benefited Add a comma
result,
by
rewards Change preposition
from
such
as stimulates
, employees of the month, which boast them Replace the word
stimulation
furthermore
to work
hard . In addition
, this
may help other team members to work
enthusiastic
and Change the word
enthusiastically
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
work
.
On the other
hand
many of them Add a comma
hand,
work
hard for obtaining
Change preposition
to obtain
better
quality of life. Add an article
a better
For
instance
in Add a comma
instance,
this
modern age emptiness are not reasonable. As a result
every individual should are working
hard to achieve their desire. Wrong verb form
work
Such
as living in modern houses, buying
new cars. Some Correct word choice
and buying
people
starting
ownWrong verb form
start their
business
when they have enough Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
money
. For
instance
they do not want to be alone and Add a comma
instance,
such
as
friends, Change preposition
apply
communication
Correct word choice
and communication
people
work
. In
addition
a teacher Add a comma
addition,
put
in long hours preparing Wrong verb form
puts
lesson
because they are deeply committed to their students' education. Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
People
may work
hard because of a sense of responsibility.Working hard because they want to make positive
in the world. Some Correct article usage
a positive
people
get attention from people
and get respect from community
, Add an article
the community
secondly
, they are getting reputation
from their community.
Correct article usage
a reputation
To sum up
, work
hard for enthusiastic
and satisfaction. I guess Replace the word
enthusiasm
money
is part of our lives.Submitted by omondavlat91 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Overall
Your essay demonstrates some understanding of the task but lacks coherence and cohesion. You need to structure your ideas more clearly and provide relevant examples to support your points.