IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many large supermarkets are being built today while the number of small shops is decreasing. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#supermarkets #shops #outweigh
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Nowadays, the way people shop has changed drastically when compared to a couple of decades ago. People are willing to shop at their ease. They
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
wanting
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 to shop for a long period of time rather they want to be done with it quickly. Supermarkets are helping them to do so. In
this
Linking Words
 process, supermarkets are replacing traditional small shops. There are advantages and disadvantages to
this
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 phenomenon.
This
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 essay will try to focus on both and
also
Linking Words
 evaluate them. One of the advantages of having more supermarkets is that they provide more flexibility to consumers.
For example
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, a consumer can experience a wide range of products from a single place only. They need not travel to more places to buy different goods. They can save time by shopping at a supermarket. Another advantage of these shops is that they provide discounts on the products they sell.
For instance
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, these places generally give offers like buy one get one free.People can save money by making use of
such
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 offers. By doing so they can save a lot of money. There are disadvantages as well. Small stores are generally owned by individual entities that cannot compete with them.
For example
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, a recent study indicates that there is a dip in the number of folks buying goods from smaller stores. In conclusion, there are both merits and demerits of bigger stores opening every day. But the merits overcome the demerits as the shoppers can save both time and money by buying goods from bigger ones.
Submitted by ahmedcse14 on

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task response
The introduction clearly introduces the topic and presents the writer's opinion. However, the body paragraphs do not fully develop the supporting points and there is limited development of the counter-argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The points are presented in a cohesive manner, but there is room for improvement in linking ideas within paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • one-stop shopping
  • competitive prices
  • cost of living
  • local economy
  • central areas
  • streamline distribution
  • local character
  • generic supermarkets
  • environmental impact
  • waste and pollution
  • monopoly risks
  • consumer choice
  • personal service
  • social interactions
  • community members
What to do next:
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