Some people think success in life comes from hard work and determination, but others think there are more important factors. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is believed by many that devotion to
work
and insistence
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
the key to a flourishing and prosperous life.
However
, others discern that other contributors are much more significant. Whilst I firmly believe that some salient merits could be witnessed from hard
work
, I
also
believe that other factors ought to be introduced in order to increase the possibility of leading a successful life. On the one hand, one reason why persistence and devotion to
work
are considered to be advantageous relates to securing satisfactory living conditions.
This
is mainly
due to
the fact that when workers devote much time and effort to their
work
, definitely would they gain financial incentives, promotions and raises
as a result
of accomplishing their professional goals.
Subsequently
,
this
would enable them to cover their essentials and luxuries and support themselves and their family members. In Egypt,
for example
, breadwinners who
work
14 or 15-hour shifts are more likely to enrol their minors on overseas prestigious universities.
Furthermore
, a persistent and hard-working employee possesses the quality of competitiveness which is highly required to guarantee sustainable success in personal and professional lives since hard-working individuals strive tirelessly to achieve their personal and
work
-related objectives.
On the other hand
, I firmly believe that employees ought to consider other factors to secure long-lasting success.
Firstly
, they have to quest for a positive
work
ethos by augmenting the bondings with their colleagues.
This
will in turn ameliorate their productivity
as a result
of reducing the tension at the workplace and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
workers feel at home.
This
can be witnessed by multinational corporations
such
as Apple, Nokia and Samsung which are eager to foster personal relationships in the workplace for its significance.
Moreover
, continuous learning is pivotal for accomplishing professional progress since augmenting soft skills
such
as interpersonal skills and communication skills by attending related workshops employees would have the power to deal properly with
work
-related hardships and help them fulfil long and short-term goals. In conclusion, despite the crucial importance of devotion to
work
, I am still convinced that other factors ought to be considered in order to secure the sustainability of
such
prosperity.
Subsequently
, workers ought to gather both strategies together.
Submitted by ericssonsony551 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • grit
  • achievements
  • dedication
  • transformative
  • socio-economic status
  • networking
  • opportunity
  • circumstances
  • resilience
  • adaptability
  • subjective
  • intrinsic traits
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