IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agriculture land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agriculture land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s
#agriculture #land #three #regions #world
The pie chart illustrates the cause of worldwide
land
 degradable. The table
also
 represents that how three regions ( North America,
Europe
,
Oceania
Correct word choice
and Oceania
show examples
) were affected by the causes of
land
degradation
 during the 1990s.
Overall
, over-grazing, over-farming and deforestation were the main reasons for decreasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
land
 productivity.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe
 had the highest proportion of total
land
degradation
,
whereas
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
North America was the least. It can be clearly seen that the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gazing was up to 35% ,
on the other hand
, the figure for deforestation
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for 30%.
Moreover
, the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
over cultivation
Add a hyphen
over-cultivation
show examples
 had to 28%.
Besides
, others affected the
land
 only 7%
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe
 was affected badly rather than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two regions by the causes of
land
degradation
 which was up to 23% and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe
's
land
 was hampered
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 deforestation
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 9.8%. The figure for Oceania had to 13% which was caused for over-grazing at 11.3%. The percentage of
land
degradation
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
North America had to 5% and it was
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lowest proportion.
Submitted by opshorajhumpa2001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words land, europe, degradation with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Agricultural productivity
  • Soil degradation
  • Over-grazing
  • Deforestation
  • Climate change
  • Erosion
  • Soil nutrients
  • Regional impact
  • Regional variations
  • Food security
  • Sustainable farming practices
  • Reforestation
  • Land management
  • Mitigation
  • Livestock
  • Vegetation
  • Geographical contexts
  • Economies
  • Communities
  • Historical contexts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: