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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agriculture land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agriculture land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s
#agriculture #land #three #regions #world
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The pie chart illustrates the cause of worldwide
land
Use synonyms
 degradable. The table
also
Linking Words
 represents that how three regions ( North America,
Europe
Use synonyms
,
Oceania
Correct word choice
and Oceania
show examples
) were affected by the causes of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 during the 1990s.
Overall
Linking Words
, over-grazing, over-farming and deforestation were the main reasons for decreasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
land
Use synonyms
 productivity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe
Use synonyms
 had the highest proportion of total
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
North America was the least. It can be clearly seen that the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gazing was up to 35% ,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, the figure for deforestation
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for 30%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
over cultivation
Add a hyphen
over-cultivation
show examples
 had to 28%.
Besides
Linking Words
, others affected the
land
Use synonyms
 only 7%
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe
Use synonyms
 was affected badly rather than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two regions by the causes of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 which was up to 23% and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe
Use synonyms
's
land
Use synonyms
 was hampered
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 deforestation
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 9.8%. The figure for Oceania had to 13% which was caused for over-grazing at 11.3%. The percentage of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
North America had to 5% and it was
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lowest proportion.
Submitted by opshorajhumpa2001 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words land, europe, degradation with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Agricultural productivity
  • Soil degradation
  • Over-grazing
  • Deforestation
  • Climate change
  • Erosion
  • Soil nutrients
  • Regional impact
  • Regional variations
  • Food security
  • Sustainable farming practices
  • Reforestation
  • Land management
  • Mitigation
  • Livestock
  • Vegetation
  • Geographical contexts
  • Economies
  • Communities
  • Historical contexts
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