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Writing Samples
Band 6

Advertising is becoming more widespread in our daily lives, influencing the way people think, shop, and make decisions. Is this a positive or negayive development

It is true that, nowadays advertising is becoming more common in our life.
Also
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, it is affecting the way humans make
a judgments
Correct the article-noun agreement
judgments
a judgment
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, shop and brainstorm. So, many people think it is a negative development. Yet, I believe that it is positive. In
this
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 essay, I will mention below some reasons why I find it so good. On the one hand, advertising is a key part of modern business. In
this
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 way, companies can illustrate the products that they have.
In addition
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, adverts aim to inform us about the choices which we have.
Moreover
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, it is a modern art.
Due to
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 the fact that it includes creativity, painting and computer skills.
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,
this
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 development employs many individuals with main jobs. Added to
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, for the time being, most people enjoy seeing adve rts.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 marketing intends to convince humans that purchasing the product will make them happier.
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, it follows a main brand. And they use successful and glamorous people. In fact, advertising manipulates society. We now live in a consumer culture.
In addition
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, we are persuaded to follow the latest trends. So, young children can be easily influenced. And children put pressure on their parents to buy things which they want. By the way of conclusion, to summarize all of these valuable concepts,
although
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 it is a common belief that
this
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 marketing is bad, I think it is a good development. As a matter of fact, it leads to an increase in the income for companies. Added to
this
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, it employs many individuals. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 there are available some drawbacks, they can be easily intervened.

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task achievement
The introduction should clearly outline the main points that will be discussed in the essay. Consider explicitly stating your position on the topic and providing a brief overview of both sides you intend to explore.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that this idea is clearly linked back to the overall argument of the essay. Transition words and phrases can help improve the flow between ideas.
task achievement
When presenting your points, aim to elaborate with more specific examples or evidence to support your claims. This can strengthen your argument and make your points more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, instead of simply summarizing the points, consider reiterating the significance of your viewpoint and offering a memorable closing thought to leave a stronger impact on the reader.
task achievement
You clearly express your opinion that advertising is a positive development, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
Your essay includes both positive and negative aspects of advertising, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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