IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that people need to do multiple jobs or one job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #jobs #job
The issue of whether
people
 should stick to
one
job
 or
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do multiple jobs is widely debated. In
this
 essay, I will argue
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both statements with relevant examples and give my own personal opinion. There are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why individuals prefer to stay in
one
 particular
job
 and the prominent
one
 is stability.
This
 is because when
people
 work in
one
job
, they become extremely comfortable with the existing work environment.
Therefore
 they
scared
Add a missing verb
are scared
show examples
 of losing their income by switching to another
job
. An eminent example of it,
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
 of my school
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 who is working in the same school
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the past 20 years,
while
 he is not having enough income to pay for
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 educational services.
Apart from
this
, some old aged
people
 are not able to build a good connection with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological advancement.
Therefore
, they are so confused when it comes to
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
 the various devices.
While
 on the other side,
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 individuals claim that it is better to do multiple jobs as it definitely
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
 the financial situation of any person.
Firstly
, It is
due to
 the reason that
people
 can earn
additional
Add an article
an additional
show examples
 amount of money that can help them later in life. To illustrate it, Amitabh
kapoor
Change the capitalization
Kapoor
show examples
 who is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 famous
indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
show examples
 film actor,
also
 established his own sports brand just to get
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
more
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
fame and money by influencing
Correct article usage
the you
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
g generation of the country.
Secondly
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working
something
Change preposition
on something
show examples
 different
that is
 not only limited to their own interest can lead to boost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
confidence.
Therefore
 they feel motivated to perform well in that particular field by investing more energy and time.
Finally
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cultural diversity can be promoted when
people
 start interacting with other nations.
Therefore
 the cultural gaps and differences can fade away. In conclusion,
although
 there are many good points
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 staying in
one
job
, I hold the view that
people
 need to understand the value of adapting the news trends with
Add an article
the change
a change
show examples
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 time and development.
Submitted by Navneet Dhand on

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