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Band 4.5

Some people say that adversiting is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #attention
In today’s world, consumerism has become a habit which
people
 cannot quit. Some
people
 say that advertising is successful at persuading society to buy things,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others argue advertising is so common that
people
 lose their attention to it. In my point of view, the claim which advocates
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 advertisements have a big role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 consumption is
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
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a
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apply
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obviously true. There is an undeniable fact that
products
 which are promoted by famous
people
 have
effect
Add an article
an effect
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 on
people
 more.
To begin
 with, we may see lots of advertising on TV and social media like
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
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,
facebook
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Facebook
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,
twitter
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Twitter
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 etc. Sometimes when we look at the celebrities
who
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whom
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 we love, we want to buy
this
 item just because of that person.
For instance
, if there are some
make up
Add a hyphen
make-up
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products
 on TV which
promoted
Add a missing verb
are promoted
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 by celebrities, we feel
eagerness
Replace the word
eager
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 to have it. Since, we think that if we use it, we may look like those
people
.
Moreover
, fans of famous
people
 buy the items to show their support and
loves
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love
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to
Change preposition
for
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 these
people
.
In addition
 to these reasons, marketing strategies, which we may encounter in our daily life, enter our memory unconsciously. When we see these
products
walking
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while walking
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 down the street or in malls, our brain
remember
Change the verb form
remembers
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us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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them and
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
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 us to have that item.
Due to
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
strategies
Fix the agreement mistake
strategy
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, buying process occurs with success and advertisers reach their targets in
this
 way. All in all ;
although
 there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 excessive advertising, the reason why
people
 tend to obtain the
products
 is
promoting
Replace the word
promotion
show examples
. Despite the claims which say there is no longer pay attention to marketing, there are
lots
Correct quantifier usage
lot
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 of evidence that proves
this
 argument is false.
Submitted by eylulozdemir04 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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