IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Employers somtimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information. Such as their habbies and interests, and whether thay are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #somtimes #people #jobs #information #habbies #interests #thay
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These days, most
employers
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 are willing to hire
individuals
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 who are motivated and committed.
Therefore
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, they would prefer to know
people
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's minds and personalities before choosing them as a workforce.
In addition
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, they attempt to get some private
information
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 like lifestyle and marital status from
job
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 seekers. Some
people
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 believe that achieving
data
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 is vital and others dislike it. To examine
this
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 issue,
this
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 essay will examine both agreeing and disagreeing minds in the next paragraphs respectively. The majority of
people
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 believe that
employers
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 do the correct
job
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 and obtain some personal
information
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 from
applicants
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. They think
employers
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 have committed against their business and staff.
Thus
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, they should preserve of
job
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 atmosphere and aims company.
For example
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, knowing about folk's interests, hobbies, goals, and family, assist
employers
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 to hire
individuals
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 who are healthy, motivated, and creative. These factors help companies to continue business and progress in a secure and dynamic area.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 say that achieving private
data
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 from
job
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 seekers is not respectful. They believe that
employers
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 should trust folk and just accept their knowledge and abilities.
Therefore
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,
applicants
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 should not worry about giving personal
information
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 to interviewers. Namely, during interview time, when HR managers talk to
applicants
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 should focus on skills and
people
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's experiences nor interests or hobbies.
As a result
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,
employers
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 should respect the privacy of
individuals
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. In my perspective, obtaining some personal
data
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 from
job
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 seekers is logical. Because, in ,society everyone has a different lifestyle, it's better to know folks before accepting them.
This
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 way will be beneficial for both sides and help them to work together for a long time and perfectly.
Overall
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, in the case of hiring, some
individuals
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 agree with getting private
information
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 from
applicants
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 and say that it is vital,
conversely
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, others believe that doing
this
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job
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 is entering folk's private life and dislike it. But, in my ,experience these
data
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 are necessary for
employers
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 to choose the best and most qualified person for their business.
Submitted by arzbzg.hrm92 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural fit
  • Soft skills
  • Relocation
  • Discriminatory practices
  • Competence
  • Correlation
  • Privacy
  • Equality
  • Stereotypes
  • Biases
  • Varied importance
  • Professional capacity
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Diversity
  • Inclusivity
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