The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household.The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions

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The given pie charts demonstrate the usage of energy in a household in Australia

while

Linking Words

the second chart depicts

emisions

Correct your spelling

emissions

greenhouse

Use synonyms

gas resulting from the already used energy.

Overall

Linking Words

,it is evident that heating is mostly used as an energy source,

however

Linking Words

,water heating is the most responsible for the effect of

greenhouse

Use synonyms

gases.

Firstly

Linking Words

,heating accounts for almost half of the total used

Change preposition

for

show examples

power,

while

Linking Words

water heating and other appliances figures stay at 30% and 15% respectively.

However

Linking Words

,the least used energies are refrigeration,cooling and lighting with approximately 5% each.

Further

Linking Words

analyzing the graph,it is seen that both water heating and other appliances play a key role in

greenhouse

Use synonyms

gas emissions with about a third part of the graph each.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

,the percentage of heating decreases drastically when emitting gases(exactly 15%).The energies that are at least responsible for the

greenhouse

Use synonyms

effect are lighting and cooling which figures are less than one-tenth part each.

Submitted by bekzodeshonjonovv on Mon Mar 27 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words greenhouse with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

150 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Energy consumption
Greenhouse gas emissions
Sustainable practices
Energy efficiency
Renewable energy
Fossil fuels
Carbon footprint
Eco-friendly appliances
Insulation
Solar panels
Recycling
Climate change
Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
Emissions-intensive
Energy audit
Smart meters

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household.The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

nowadays many people travel do you think advantages of this outweigh disadvantages

You want to sell your television. You think a friend of yours might like to buy it from you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: · explain why you are selling the television · describe the television · suggest a date when your friend can come and see it

For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to work or study in cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

Some businesses prohibit smoking in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree that this is the right course of action? Give reasons for your opinion.