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Writing Samples /
Band 4

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT HEALTHCARE SHOULD BE FREE FOR EVERYONE .OTHER THINK THAT PEOPLE SHOULD PAY FOR THEIR MEDICAL COST THEMSELVES. DISCUSS BOTH VIEW AND GIVE YOUR OPINION

#people #healthcare #cost
Not all over the world
the
Add a missing verb
has the
show examples
 same
healthcare
system
is found
Verb problem
apply
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. In some countries
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 free access to hospitals and medications but, unfortunately, it is not the same everywhere. In the main part of the
world
Add a comma
world,
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 there is no
healthcare
 at all
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
people
 must pay a huge quantity of money for
a
Remove the article
apply
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medical insurance. Probably, the most known country for its free access to medication is Italy.
People
 can reach
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 hospital for every emergency situation and nobody asks for
an
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apply
show examples
insurance or a valid visa. The priority is life -saving and doesn’t
matteri
Correct your spelling
matter
f
Change preposition
if
show examples
 the patient is an
Italin citizwen
Correct your spelling
Italian citizen
 or an illegal immigrant.
This
 is absolutely
marveillous
Correct your spelling
marvellous
 and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 me feel proud to be Italian.
Nevertheless
,
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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contrary
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
common thinking, these advantages are not for free. To guarantee the
healthcare
system
 to everyone the Italian
governement
Correct your spelling
government
raise
Wrong verb form
raised
show examples
tax
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taxes
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to
Change preposition
on
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 all workers and companies. It is easy to understand why irregular workers and companies that dodge taxes negatively affect the
system
.
Likewise
, the increasingly high number of illegal and
unemploied
Correct your spelling
unemployed
person
Fix the agreement mistake
persons
show examples
 who
do
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does
show examples
 not contribute to the tax
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 led to a progressive reduction of assistance level. In the
last
 2 or 3 decades we have seen increasing
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
lead
Add an article
a lead
the lead
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 time for diagnostic exams and medical consultations
..
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.
...
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As a result
, more and more
people
 started to use private medical clinics
instead
 of public
service
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services
show examples
. From my point of view
this
 trend will expose patients to a big risk because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the private
system
 could be more focused on the business rather than
guarantee
Wrong verb form
guaranteeing
show examples
people
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people's
show examples
 health and safety. It is not uncommon to hear news about false surgeons or surgical procedures done but not necessary. What is not acceptable is to pay for both
Correct article usage
the pubblic
show examples
pubblic
Correct your spelling
public
 and private
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
.
This
efford
Correct your spelling
effort
 will be no more long-term sustainable. I hope we’ll be individually allowed to choose which kind of
healthcare
 we would like to use and pay
accordingly
 without
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 forced to pay for services that we do not use.
Submitted by serenazucchi74 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal healthcare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • public health
  • innovation
  • government expenditure
  • personal responsibility
  • preventive care
  • taxation
  • medical infrastructure
  • health equity
  • healthcare system
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