For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
It's true that
,
many Remove the comma
apply
people
commonly believe that, one of the keys to earning more money
is working harder. In this
essay
I will examine why I Add a comma
essay,
was
disagreed with giving Unnecessary verb
apply
statement
.
Correct article usage
a statement
To begin
with, it's undeniable that, many individuals who
believe and appreciate that, the only way to become rich is Correct pronoun usage
apply
work
harder than others. Change the verb form
to work
working
However
, they are trying to find lucrative occupation
for their goods, which are bought cozy house and a nice car. Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
Whereas
, they still do not understand Correct word choice
However
yet
that they have numerous ways to acquire well salary. As an example, my uncle is a successful programmer, and who is earning a lot of Rephrase
apply
money
without working hard. In addition
, he is
not graduated from school with Verb problem
has
well
marks. Change the adverb
good
Nevertheless
, he is living really
remarkable atmosphere with Correct article usage
a really
him
family, and once a month, he Correct pronoun usage
his
is going
to Wrong verb form
goes
the
foreign country Correct article usage
a
for enjoying
Change preposition
to enjoy
the
life.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, as I mentioned before, for earn well wage, required
Wrong verb form
requires
from
Change preposition
apply
people
only approach with the
clarity, and generate unique ideas Correct article usage
apply
to
Change preposition
for
this
issue. It is clear that
, in modern eras, there is had
a diversity Unnecessary verb
apply
job
choices for Change preposition
of job
people
. To quote from, the best way to earn more money
is from the internet. This
is because, it is undeniable that, the stock investment rapidly increase within the
five year over the world, and as an Correct article usage
apply
example
many Add a comma
example,
people
considering
that, it is possible Wrong verb form
consider
landing
a lucrative job Wrong verb form
to land
from
Change preposition
on
the
social media.
In conclusion, I believe that Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
will understand very soon that there is a different way of making money
without any difficulties. I recommend,
Remove the comma
apply
if
they approach with clarity.Correct word choice
that
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and outlines your main points. Additionally, provide a conclusion that summarizes your arguments and restates your position.
task achievement
Your essay should directly address the prompt and clearly express your opinion. Ensure that you develop clear and comprehensive ideas that are relevant to the topic. Use specific examples to support your points.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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