For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It's true that
,
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apply
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many
people
commonly believe that, one of the keys to earning more
money
is working harder. In
this
essay
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essay,
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I will examine why I
was
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apply
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disagreed with giving
statement
Correct article usage
a statement
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.
To begin
with, it's undeniable that, many individuals
who
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apply
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believe and appreciate that, the only way to become rich is
work
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to work
working
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harder than others.
However
, they are trying to find lucrative
occupation
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occupations
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for their goods, which are bought cozy house and a nice car.
Whereas
Correct word choice
However
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, they still do not understand
yet
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apply
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that they have numerous ways to acquire well salary. As an example, my uncle is a successful programmer, and who is earning a lot of
money
without working hard.
In addition
, he
is
Verb problem
has
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not graduated from school with
well
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good
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marks.
Nevertheless
, he is living
really
Correct article usage
a really
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remarkable atmosphere with
him
Correct pronoun usage
his
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family, and once a month, he
is going
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goes
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to
the
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a
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foreign country
for enjoying
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to enjoy
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the
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apply
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life.
On the other hand
, as I mentioned before, for earn well wage,
required
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requires
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from
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apply
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people
only approach with
the
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apply
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clarity, and generate unique ideas
to
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for
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this
issue.
It is clear that
, in modern eras, there is
had
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apply
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a diversity
job
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of job
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choices for
people
. To quote from, the best way to earn more
money
is from the internet.
This
is because, it is undeniable that, the stock investment rapidly increase within
the
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apply
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five year over the world, and as an
example
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example,
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many
people
considering
Wrong verb form
consider
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that, it is possible
landing
Wrong verb form
to land
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a lucrative job
from
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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social media. In conclusion, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
will understand very soon that there is a different way of making
money
without any difficulties. I recommend
,
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apply
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if
Correct word choice
that
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they approach with clarity.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position and outlines your main points. Additionally, provide a conclusion that summarizes your arguments and restates your position.
task achievement
Your essay should directly address the prompt and clearly express your opinion. Ensure that you develop clear and comprehensive ideas that are relevant to the topic. Use specific examples to support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • necessities
  • monetary rewards
  • quality of life
  • luxury items
  • dependents
  • responsibility
  • pursue
  • personal interests
  • cultural pressures
  • wealth accumulation
  • fulfillment
  • visible measure
  • correlate
  • secure future
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • entertainment
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