Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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One of the social concerns today relates to

traffic

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safety

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While

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it is commonly thought that heavy punishments for breaking driving rules are the main factor in decreasing

road

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accidents

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, others believe that there are better ways to do it. I am going to discuss these opposing points of view. In my opinion, more measures rather than heavy fines should be taken. On the one hand, it is argued that enforcing harsh punishments is the best way to reduce

road

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accidents

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. The main reason is that if drivers know that they will have severe consequences for breaking the law, they will be more likely to drive more consciously and follow the rules.

For instance

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last

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week my brother was fined 10,000,000 VND for speeding and he told me he would never commit again.

On the other hand

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, it is strongly believed by others that there are many other helpful measures that can be taken to improve the situation.

Firstly

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, upgrading

road

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infrastructure

such

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as adding more

traffic

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lights, speed bumps and pedestrian crossings can help to minimize crashes.

Secondly

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, launching education programs to raise awareness on driving

safety

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. In fact,

this

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can be done at school or companies to promote a habit among young people.

For example

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, as reported by Vietnam Express, after a 3-year

traffic

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safety

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educational program was implemented in all districts in Ho Chi Minh City, the death rate caused by

road

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accidents

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among the youth decreased by 30% in 2022. In conclusion,

while

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it is commonly thought that giving strict punishments for driving offences is the key factor in lowering

traffic

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accidents

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, others assume that more measures can be more effective in bettering

road

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safety

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. Personally, I tend to believe that improving

road

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infrastructure, raising awareness and promoting safe driving habits can be a solid foundation for a free-from-danger living environment for everyone.

yeshomeclassTue Mar 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure logical sequencing of paragraphs and ideas. Transitions between ideas could be more defined and smoother.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened with clearer thesis statements and summaries of the main points.

coherence cohesion

Support main points with more diverse examples, explanations, or evidence for greater persuasive power.

task achievement

A complete response to all parts of the task was given, but more depth in the discussion could be achieved by equally treating both views.

task achievement

Strive for clarity by explicitly stating your main ideas and direct responses to the prompt. Make sure the reader has no difficulties following your arguments.

task achievement

Relevant and specific examples were provided. More examples or data could be cited to support the points discussed, especially concerning the effectiveness of strict punishments.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

deterrent
repeat offenses
infrastructure improvements
public awareness campaigns
reckless driving
traffic management technologies
intelligent traffic lights
speed cameras
public transportation
minimize
enhance safety
allocate funds
road signs
road safety

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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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