Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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One of the social concerns today relates to
traffic
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safety
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.
While
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it is commonly thought that heavy punishments for breaking driving rules are the main factor in decreasing
road
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accidents
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, others believe that there are better ways to do it. I am going to discuss these opposing points of view. In my opinion, more measures rather than heavy fines should be taken. On the one hand, it is argued that enforcing harsh punishments is the best way to reduce
road
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accidents
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. The main reason is that if drivers know that they will have severe consequences for breaking the law, they will be more likely to drive more consciously and follow the rules.
For instance
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,
last
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week my brother was fined 10,000,000 VND for speeding and he told me he would never commit again.
On the other hand
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, it is strongly believed by others that there are many other helpful measures that can be taken to improve the situation.
Firstly
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, upgrading
road
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infrastructure
such
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as adding more
traffic
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lights, speed bumps and pedestrian crossings can help to minimize crashes.
Secondly
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, launching education programs to raise awareness on driving
safety
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. In fact,
this
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can be done at school or companies to promote a habit among young people.
For example
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, as reported by Vietnam Express, after a 3-year
traffic
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safety
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educational program was implemented in all districts in Ho Chi Minh City, the death rate caused by
road
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accidents
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among the youth decreased by 30% in 2022. In conclusion,
while
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it is commonly thought that giving strict punishments for driving offences is the key factor in lowering
traffic
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accidents
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, others assume that more measures can be more effective in bettering
road
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safety
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. Personally, I tend to believe that improving
road
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infrastructure, raising awareness and promoting safe driving habits can be a solid foundation for a free-from-danger living environment for everyone.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of paragraphs and ideas. Transitions between ideas could be more defined and smoother.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened with clearer thesis statements and summaries of the main points.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more diverse examples, explanations, or evidence for greater persuasive power.
task achievement
A complete response to all parts of the task was given, but more depth in the discussion could be achieved by equally treating both views.
task achievement
Strive for clarity by explicitly stating your main ideas and direct responses to the prompt. Make sure the reader has no difficulties following your arguments.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples were provided. More examples or data could be cited to support the points discussed, especially concerning the effectiveness of strict punishments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • repeat offenses
  • infrastructure improvements
  • public awareness campaigns
  • reckless driving
  • traffic management technologies
  • intelligent traffic lights
  • speed cameras
  • public transportation
  • minimize
  • enhance safety
  • allocate funds
  • road signs
  • road safety
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