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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows percentages of staffs not going to work for different reasons between 2000 and 2010

The chart below shows percentages of staffs not going to work for different reasons between 2000 and 2010
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the bar chart compares the percentages of staff not going to work for different reasons in different three years.
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the reason for illness and family responsibilities showed a downtrend .and the reason for stress , unexpected problem and personal needs all showed an upward trend .   the number of illnesses was the largest at 45% in 2000 and increased to 35% in 2010,
,
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meanwhile
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 the figure for family responsibilities decreased slightly from 28% in 2000 down to 20% in 2010. the figure for stress increased slightly from 5 % to 8 % ,which was the smallest of all reasons. and the number of personal needs increased obviously from 14% to 20%.and the number of
the
Correct article usage
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unexpected problems
also
Linking Words
 showed an upward trend from 10% in 2000 to 15% in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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