The chart below shows percentages of staffs not going to work for different reasons between 2000 and 2010
the bar chart compares the percentages of staff not going to work for different reasons in different three years.
it is clear that
the reason for illness and family responsibilities showed a downtrend .and the reason for stress , unexpected problem and personal needs all showed an upward trend .
the number of illnesses was the largest at 45% in 2000 and increased to 35% in 2010,,
Change the punctuation
apply
meanwhile
the figure for family responsibilities decreased slightly from 28% in 2000 down to 20% in 2010.
the figure for stress increased slightly from 5 % to 8 % ,which was the smallest of all reasons. and the number of personal needs increased obviously from 14% to 20%.and the number of Add a comma
,meanwhile
the
unexpected problems Correct article usage
apply
also
showed an upward trend from 10% in 2000 to 15% in 2010.Submitted by 992127079 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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