A friend wants to get some information about an elementary school where one of your cousins studies. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter, •say why this school is a good elementary school •mention how expensive it is •explain why your friend should get his/her child admitted there

#friend #information #school #cousins #studies #•say #•mention #•explain #child

Dear Upkar, I hope you are taking good care of yourself. I am delighted to tell you about the information you require about the

school

where my relative studies in Oshawa, Canada. The focal reason that I personally find good about the

school

is its method of teaching. They teach you how to be disciplined and organised with the help of the special military program. Another reason is,

they

Correct word choice

that they

show examples

also

have dedicated meditation centres which will help kids to keep their stress and anxiety in check. Irrefutably,

Correct article usage

the

show examples

fee of the

school

is expensive. The average fee for

school

Correct article usage

a school

show examples

in that area is 7500$.

While

this

school

charges 13000$.

However

, they have different scholarship programs and financial programs to help parents

Verb problem

apply

show examples

enrol their kids in the

school

. In my opinion, I would recommend you to please enrol your child in

this

school

not only because of the top-notch extracurricular activities, but they

also

have highly educated teaching faculty which would help them to have holistic development. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon Regards, Harsh

Submitted by harshrewari on Tue Mar 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea or theme to improve coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Provide a more appropriate greeting and closing for a formal letter to enhance the writing tone.

task achievement

Ensure all key points are addressed clearly and thoroughly to improve task achievement.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

178 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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A friend wants to get some information about an elementary school where one of your cousins studies. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter, •say why this school is a good elementary school •mention how expensive it is •explain why your friend should get his/her child admitted there

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Topic: Some people think it is more important spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on a treatment for people who are already ill.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes?** What measures should be taken to combat this issue?**

In the last century when a human astronaut arrived on the moon he said "it is a big step for mankind". But some people say it makes little or no difference to our daily life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believes that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes, others argue that this money should be spent on sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?