IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and give any relevant example or experience you have to support your answer.

#people #cities #people’s #health #support
In recent decades,
due to
 many types of amenities, a number of
people
 tend to prefer living in metropolitan
cities
 rather than regional areas. Whether
this
 trend brings negative effects on
people
's health has been hotly debated. I strongly agree
city
 dwellers are affected negatively by environmental contamination or a busy-paced routine.
This
 essay will discuss
this
 issue by using examples to support ideas and demonstrate points.
Firstly
, it is the fact that as numerous facilities
such
 as convenience stores or fast-food restaurants are located in
cities
 more than rural areas,
this
 situation results in unhealthy diet habits among individuals.
In addition
, delivery services of
such
 amenities allow
people
 to have a meal with a sedentary lifestyle in offices, leading to obesity.
For example
,
due to
 a lot of task duties and a busy-paced environment, it is significantly difficult for
city
 workers to have enough time for lunch or dinner outside during break time.
Therefore
, a high percentage of overweight has taken place in most
cities
 in South Korea.
Secondly
, an increasing number of vehicles and factories exacerbates air conditions with gas emissions or chemical substances which directly cause negative impacts on
city
 residents.
Furthermore
,owing to
such
 contaminations, respiratory diseases are quite prevalent in metropolitan
cities
.
For instance
, the government in South Korea required all ages of
people
 to wear masks because of
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 enormous amount of dust and contamination in the air to avoid asthma.
Thus
, it cannot be denied that
city
 lives undoubtedly are unfavourable for
people
's health conditions. In conclusion, since
people
 in
cities
 are vulnerable to having healthy habits because of
city
 lifestyles, governments ought to find solutions to improve their health conditions.
Submitted by mix5777 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • respiratory health
  • asthma
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • mental health issues
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • obesity
  • noise pollution
  • insomnia
  • sleep disorders
  • healthcare services
  • active lifestyle
  • pedestrians
  • cyclists
  • infrastructure
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