Some people believe that individuals who earn a lot of money are the most successful. Others say that the individuals who contribute to the society (such as scientists or teachers) are the most successful. 🔸Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 word

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers #🔸discuss #word

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In today's competitive society, people will do anything to achieve higher standards of living since

this

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can lead them to get others' appreciation.

However

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, even though there are individuals who believe that earning a bunch of money can be seen as a great achievement, there are

also

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parts of the community who strongly believe that having opportunities to make a great contribution to the community can be seen as a remarkable accomplishment. I will elaborate on my own views below.

To begin

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with, it is indisputable that people who are able to get high paid jobs and access to top-tier working environments are considerably successful in current circumstances.

This

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is supported by the fact that students who are merely finished high school are directly focused on their

further

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goal, which wishes to be accepted at one of the best universities in the country.

For instance

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, some students will put their effort and time more to prepare for university applications.

On the other hand

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, having a great impact on the surroundings and continuously contributing to society can bring long-term benefits for those who value kindness and well-being. Many people are into togetherness these days since it gives positive effects on our own mental health.

For example

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, every Miss Universe winner has dedicated their life to advocating their beliefs and changing the world. These women have their own interests that they will strongly address and speak for the entire year of the title.

To sum up

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, I undoubtedly agree that our purpose in life and success are achieved

while

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you can be valuable to your surroundings through your work. Money can be your source of happiness, but giving back to the community can

also

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bring you more contentment in life.

Submitted by lagum on Wed Mar 29 2023

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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