The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments on driving offences. To what extent do you agree with this idea?
The only way to develop comfortable roads than disadvantages but must be reconsidered for justice between both sides.
by
stricter punishments. I partially agree with Add a missing verb
is by
this
statement. In addition
, I would like to discuss an argument and find other ways to a similar target.
First and foremost, every commuter will be pressed by the stricter legislation in order to pay more respect to the law. Hence
, the citizen will always have to be aware whenever they may unconsciously do any illegal act. For example
, in Japan, if the speed of a vehicle is more than 80 kilometres per hour in every case, the driver will have an opportunity to be held
their license. Wrong verb form
hold
Furthermore
, with a
more severe punishment, the city’s image will be better and become the safest town since the major citizens are under the traffic agreement. Remove the article
apply
Otherwise
, the first impression of most visitors will be reduced because of the risks of being injured by unmannered drivers.
On the contrary
, as a result
of the forcing punishments, in case of any accidents happening on the road, the pedestrians are barely responsible for any mistake in spite of occurring with or without attention. Therefore
, the legislation should be more considered by the justice between both sides. In contrast
, without the forcing law, the government should encourage the well-behaved driver to persuade others. Moreover
, the budget is separated to keep the one corresponding to the conditions. For instance
, the exempted fuel tax should be offered to support them to commute for becoming
a better example for the masses.
Change preposition
to become
To conclude
, the intense obligation has the
advantages for the cityCorrect article usage
apply
Rephrase
rather
Additionally
, the supporting budget will assist the citizens in doing so under the law.Submitted by amittawin on
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Task Response
While you partially agree with the idea, your essay should clearly state your position and provide arguments supporting your agreement. The essay could also benefit from providing stronger and more specific examples to illustrate your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, but there are some areas where further development and linking of ideas would enhance the overall coherence. Consider using more cohesive devices, such as transitional words and phrases, to improve the flow of your arguments.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there is room for improvement in terms of using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices. Additionally, try to vary the sentence structures to add more variety and depth to your writing.
Grammatical Range
Your grammatical range is sufficient, with only minor errors. However, be cautious of sentence structure and make sure to use appropriate punctuation to convey your ideas clearly.