Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities. How harmful are these for children? Discuss possible solutions.

#parents #amount #violence #children #computer #games #tv #programs #leisure #activities

In today's modern society, committing crimes might be uncommon to happen around us. It is argued that many parents are worried about their offspring regarding the probability of their kids doing harmful actions by using technology, playing with computers and watching TV.

This

essay will discuss some causes that might lead to

such

things, followed by a few suggestions to reduce the problem. As mentioned before, the arrival of technology brought various impacts. The ability of advanced tools to spread information and habits in the worldwide state could be categorized as a pro or a con. On the one hand, by accessing online games, numerous dangerous actions which in fact only apply in the games can be interpreted as cool things by youngsters in their actual lives. Those bad impacts usually lead to crimes.

For instance

, a computer game called GTA is popular amongst young people, which dominantly consists of harmful actions where the characters are stealing cars, looting stores, hitting

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stranger

Fix the agreement mistake

strangers

show examples

, and so on. In the unconscious minds, offspring might be implementing those behaviours. To alleviate inconvenient behaviours amongst youngsters, parents play a big part. The fact that those probabilities came from their usual spending on leisure time, a father and a mother could replace those by talking with their children in order to get to know them better. Another way to help the case is taking the kids to pursue their hobbies seriously might be an effective way.

For example

instead

of giving their son a chance to join a motor club, my parents enrolled my brother on a piano session regularly.

To conclude

, the dangerous acts normally applied to computers and other smart devices could be a factor in committing crimes among children.

On the other hand

, spending time with the kids and taking them into a class they are interested in might be the best suggestions to reduce the problem mentioned

Submitted by talithanakhwah19 on Sat Dec 30 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. Include a specific thesis statement.

task achievement

Develop your paragraphs with clear topic sentences and provide specific examples or evidence to support each main point.

coherence cohesion

Your essay should have a clear logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Transition effectively between ideas.

coherence cohesion

Use a variety of linking words and phrases to ensure smooth flow and clear relationships between ideas and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

To achieve greater coherence, make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main point and that all sentences within it are relevant to that point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The amount of consuming products which contain high level of sugar is increasing, with some people claiming that it should be decreased by making these goods lavish and exorbitant items. I personally accept this, and I will explain why in this essay.
6
band
In many countries tourism is an important part of the economy, but it also causes environmental damage. Some people believe that tourists should pay an additional tax to compensate for this damage. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
touristry, being a weighty part of the economy in a lot of countries, caused a bad environmental impact and destroyed important communities. Historical places and picturesque sites are dying out. A number of believed that it is better that people who travel pay an extra payment to compensate for those environmental effects,
6
band
You have heard that a developer plans to build a shopping centre near your home. write a letter to the council. In your letter -say how you head about the plan -explain how you feel about it -ask for mor information about it
I am requesting your information about making a new building on Kashmir Road.
6.5
band
Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discussion both views and give your opinion.
Excessive amount of junk food really affects our health badly in the long term, as proven by research. In my view, I agree that the public should be acknowledged of the negative effects of fast food, so they will lower their daily intake of fast food and prevent further harm.
8
band
In modern times, the issue of environmental Problems has become highly controversial. It is often said that it is the main reason for the loss of some species and animals however other feel that it has other big problems. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and provide overall provide my Opinion.
It is often considered that in the contemporary era environmental issues are more concerned hence the main cause of natural resource change is the frequent loss of a few species and animals. Whereas, others believe some others factors which cause such conditions. In my, an inclined rise in human needs causes the loss of wildlife diversity which affects environmental problems. Thus this essay will elaborate on both notions which lead to a logical conclusion.

Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities. How harmful are these for children? Discuss possible solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries tourism is an important part of the economy, but it also causes environmental damage. Some people believe that tourists should pay an additional tax to compensate for this damage. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You have heard that a developer plans to build a shopping centre near your home. write a letter to the council. In your letter -say how you head about the plan -explain how you feel about it -ask for mor information about it

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discussion both views and give your opinion.