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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. Do you think should this be enforced in all schools?

Nowadays, in some
nations
Add a comma
nations,
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 children are required to
dress
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 in uniforms when attending
school
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. In my opinion, I consider wearing a
dress
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 code should be compulsory in educational institutions because of many reasons and benefits offered by them,
such
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 as discipline, safety, security
also
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 equality.
Firstly
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 a
dress
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 code helps create a disciplined atmosphere and an optimistic environment in schools and
also
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 eradicates any inequality between rich and poor pupils. Uniforms keep
students
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 focused on their education, not their clothes
moreover
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 creating a level playing field among them and
reduce
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reducing
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 peer pressure and bullying.
As a result
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,
this
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 leads to there being no discrimination between poor and richer ones, all are considered equals on
school
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 premises, and
this
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 enhances the relationship bond with each other.
For example
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, pupils who belong to affluent families and others who hailed from an impoverished society adorn the same garments when they go to
school
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. If
this
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 norm is not practised,
then
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 the rich kids might show off in front of their colleagues and in
this
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 ,way teenagers will be focused on their appearance rather than on their studies.
Secondly
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, the institution's
dress
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 code provides safety and security
while
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 creating a sense of identity within educational institutions. Since the schools endorsed the implementation of uniforms among the
students
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 promoted discipline and
lead
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led
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 to a decrease in
school
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 violence.
For instance
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, every
school
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 has a set of costumes
that is
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 unique to them
and
Correct word choice
apply
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has its badge or logo emblazoned on the chest and is used to identify
students
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 as belonging to a given
school
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. They help to quickly identify
students
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 and it is much easier to spot intruders in the
school
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 compound when everyone else is in a uniform.
This
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 is key to dealing with them before they can put anyone at risk or cause damage to the
school
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 property. In conclusion, I believe that the uniform must be mandatory. It is irrefutable that uniform plays a significant role in maintaining discipline in schools, and children would enhance their quality of life when they follow the policy of institutes to minimize chances of bullying based on socio-economic status and boost self-esteem when all the
students
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 feel the same
also
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 boosts performance.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the prompt and maintain a clear connection to the central argument throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a solid framework for the essay. However, consider refining the logical structure within paragraphs to enhance coherence.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a complete understanding of the task at hand and effectively addresses the benefits of school uniforms. Ensure that specific examples are consistently relevant to the points being made.
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