IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that main aim of advertising is to improve sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #aim #sales #products
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It is believed by some people that advertising’s main goal is to increase the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of profits from
products
Use synonyms
, even though people do not
need
Correct pronoun usage
itneed
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. I mostly agree with
this
Linking Words
 suggestion because advertisements manipulate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people’s
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
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with
Change preposition
by
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 creating desires
such
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 as new fashion and new food.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they use some information
of
Change preposition
about
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 people to create their probable needs via web services.
Firstly
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, advertisement streams usually are made to appeal
individuals’
Change preposition
to individuals’
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 interests to sell
products
Use synonyms
. Generally, in the moment of releasing new
products
Use synonyms
, they make aggressive
introduction
Fix the agreement mistake
introductions
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 in channels and internet browsers to attract consumers’ interests.
For instance
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, in
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
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 seasons, most
of
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apply
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channels
Add an article
the channels
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 stream new
ice-cream
Correct your spelling
ice cream
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products
Use synonyms
 consistently. Despite their needless, most consumers would decide to buy these
products
Use synonyms
 in the end.
In addition
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, many
companies
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 use some tricky ways to sell their new clothes. They use shiny colours of some t-shirts and even though a consumer has one of these, they tend to buy one more.
Secondly
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, some
companies
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 share consumers’ information
to
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with
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 other
companies
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 to boost their sales.
Subsequently
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, they do some research about a particular client’s probable needs.
For instance
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, they call or bring pop-up ads to consumers’ smart telephones to inform new
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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products
Use synonyms
. Their main
intend
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intent
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 is providing to be felt their some consumers as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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special one.
By
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Through
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 these improvements, some consumers create a tie with
companies
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 and they buy some
products
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 even they do not need.
Hence
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, these imposing actions by advertisements provide new sales. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied with
this
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 suggestion.
Although
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, advertisements have some positive impact in terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people’s product preferences, in my opinion, their main aim is to boost
companies
Use synonyms
’ sales with some tricky streams and leaking information. 46 dk.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

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