IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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There are opinions that conflict with experts,
such
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 as doctors and engineers, who should
work
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 in the
country
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 where they did their training. At the same time, some
people
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 believe that they can
work
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 in another
country
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 where they want.
This
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 essay will discuss these points of view and argue on
this
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 topic. Some
people
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 think everyone has the freedom to choose to
work
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 anywhere
due to
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 a basic right, and should not be enforced.
Besides
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, there are several advantages if
people
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work
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 in another place.
Firstly
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, having the occasion to develop yourself,
whereas
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 learning in a new working society.
Secondly
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, high salaries and welfare support many matters.
For example
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, Google company in America has several environments for employees, whether it is the free canteen of the company or a small kitchen.
Moreover
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, a nap room that allows workers to sleep in the afternoon.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 believe that they should not leave the
country
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 when they graduate because it will bring knowledge and skills to improve in the area where they live.
For instance
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, computer engineer learns about the design and creation of systems of computers, and civil engineering relates to construction
such
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 as buildings, bridges, roads, and transportation systems, which these skills can benefit the
country
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,
In addition
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, since COVID-19 disease.
As a result
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, doctors have a lot of shortages at present and
this
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 is another reason that some
people
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 do not want them to move away. In conclusion, in my view, we should not oblige them to
work
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 in a
country
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 if they have an occasion to have a new experience and access the advanced technology in another
country
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.

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introduction conclusion present
Work on refining your thesis statement in the introduction to clearly express your main argument or opinion. This will set the stage for a more focused discussion in your essay.
logical structure
Try to make your paragraphs more cohesive by using clear transitions between points. This will enhance the logical structure of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
complete response
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion on whether professionals should work in the country where they trained or elsewhere.
relevant specific examples
The use of examples, such as the working environment at Google, helps to illustrate points and make the argument more convincing.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and offers a clear opinion, which is essential for a complete response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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