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Band 5.5

Some people argue that the use of animals in medical research for the benefit of humans is acceptable, while others believe that is wrong. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #animals #research #benefit #humans
It is
arguing
Wrong verb form
argued
show examples
 by some people that
animals
 can be used in medical research in favour of humans’ benefits
while
 others do not
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
this
 case. Many
animals
such
 as mammals may be beneficial for
medicine
Replace the word
medical
show examples
 experiments before their mass production. Looking at
this
 case from the other side, some research which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 utilized by
animals
 may emerge detrimental results
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of correspondence
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body. On the one hand,
animals
 including mammals may present positive impacts
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experimenting
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
compound
Fix the agreement mistake
compounds
show examples
 of a particular medicine
.
Add a missing verb
are.
show examples
 It is no doubt that scientists have improved many drugs and medical products by mammals.
For example
, many cosmetic products have
experimented
Add a missing verb
been experimented
show examples
 on
mice
Change noun form
mice's
show examples
 skin and their
side-affects
Correct your spelling
side-effects
show examples
 could be decreased. Another example as
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 counted as painkillers to relieve severe pains. Shortly, without
animals
, humans may not lift medical technologies at
this
 level.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand, some explorations and examines based on
animals
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 respect to medical technologies may create harmful results. These unpredictable outcomes are rarely
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
related
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 scientists’ failures. Generally, these bad effects occur after releasing of medicine, even though experiments on
animals
 had been completed successfully. Unfortunately, some matters and formulas may not correspond with human systems contrary to
animals
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 in
aesthetics
Replace the word
aesthetic
show examples
 drugs and fatal and poisonous situations may be happened among users.
Therefore
, using
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animals
 in medical technologies has some risks. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied with
this
 discussion.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 utilizing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animals
 may create some dangerous situations in medical research, in my opinion,
this
 case has presented many benefits to humanity and it will provide new innovations in the future. 43 dk.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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