Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

In recent years, the majority of
children
have
a
Add a missing verb
had a
show examples
massive issue with their weight. From year to
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
this
case is becoming more significant.
Thus
, the question is
whether
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
what action should be taken to decrease overweight?  To start with, plenty of
children
after finishing classes are going to chain stores
such
as Mcdonald or KFC which is a serious problem for their health
as well as
their body. To put it more simply, parents should pay more attention to what their
children
eat during the whole day. It is crucial especially for young adults
due to
the fact that they are in puberty which is caused by
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rapid and intensive weight gain.
Moreover
, kids really enjoy eating sweets
such
as jelly candies, ice-creams and chocolate bars.
Furthermore
,
such
food in large quantities causes weight gain and skin problems all over the body.
On the other hand
, the government should provide extra curriculum classes to broaden the knowledge of ingredients and nutritional value of the meals.
This
understanding connected with fitness will definitely reduce obesity among
children
. What is more, PE classes should be more intensive and conducted in a fun
as well as
interesting way.
This
action will cause curiosity among
children
and willingness to participate in
such
activities.
To sum up
, I wholeheartedly believe that
this
above-mentioned statement should not be disregarded. I hope that society will find a way to decrease or even reduce
this
major issue.
Submitted by jula.wierzba on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: