IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discus both views.

#people #animals #zoos #discus
A the
Choose an article
The
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 present,
people
 are more
consern
Correct your spelling
concern
concerned
 about
animals
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
getting hurt by living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
 but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
another point is that certain types of
Add an article
the animal
an animal
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
also
 need to only kept by the
zoo
 as well to prevent
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
danger from them.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
 essay will examine
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both views of the statement.
Add an article
The animal
An animal
show examples
Animal
Fix the agreement mistake
Animals
show examples
 could
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
be
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
in the
zoo
 but not in every species. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
 have to be kept in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
 but not every
types
Change to a singular noun
type
show examples
 of
them
Correct pronoun usage
one
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 like a dog or a cat.
For example
, if the animal is a type
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
 prohibited
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 ordinary
people
 to own like in some countries a tiger or lion. These kinds of
Add an article
the animal
an animal
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 must have a specific rule to own and need only able to be
own
Wrong verb form
owned
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
 or an organisation that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 knowledge about them.
However
, if it is a
types
Change the noun form
type
show examples
 like a dog or a cat
this
 kind of
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
 should let
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
normal
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be able to own. They do not need to be in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
.
On the other hand
, We need to make
zoos
 appropriate for
Add an article
the animal
an animal
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 to be able
entertraining
Correct your spelling
entertaining
enter training
 and ecologically as well. For the reason is that many
zoo
Change to a plural noun
zoos
show examples
 have
not
Add the particle
tonot
show examples
treat
Wrong verb form
treated
show examples
Add an article
the animal
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 well enough to make
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
suiable
Correct your spelling
suitable
 or in a good condition to show something to
people
 in a
zoo
.
For instance
, if we caught
animals
 in a bad environment
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
zoos
 or
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 provide
a good food
Remove the article
good food
a portion of good food
show examples
 for
animals
.
This
 might lead to not
appropriate
Add a missing verb
being appropriate
show examples
 for anima to be in the
zoo
 and work for
people
. In conclusion,
people
 have
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own perspective on how we should
kept
Change the verb form
keep
show examples
 the
animals
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 caring about them to getting hurt or to forcing
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 work for
entertraining
Correct your spelling
entertaining
 but in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I already
presents
Change the verb form
present
show examples
 my point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 on both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 above
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the statement.
Submitted by witchayutpie on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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