the chart gives information about entertainment venues and their admissions in 2009

#information #entertainment #venues #admissions

This

given chart represents and illustrates specific elements related to entertainment including the locations.

In addition

, the ratio of attendance in 2009 and fees packages for families or individuals. Divided into three main venues sports, theme parks and cinemas.

According to

the two diagrams below that show us the range in millions of admissions, cinemas had a noticeable number.

Moreover

, theme parks reached approximately 370m visitors and the minority is sports 170 million. Football had three various types, with

also

three different prices 71 to 75

dollars

Furthermore

, from 280 to 298

dollars

for family tickets. The lowest cinema fee for one ticket is 15

dollars

and the for four people is 55

dollars

. To summarise, the bar and table below explain data for entertainment events in 2009.

Besides

, the variety of options for sports activities

also

theme parks and cinemas.

Additionally

, the prices for each element that mentioned in.

Submitted by Zainab Albahlool on Wed Mar 29 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words dollars with synonyms.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

150 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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the chart gives information about entertainment venues and their admissions in 2009

with the pressures on today's young people to Succeed academically. Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school eg. physical education and cookery should be removed from the syllabus so that chicken can concentrate wholly on acadesoic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Do the advantages of using computers for learning outweigh its disadvantages?

Some believe that students should begin learning a language very early in school while others think these subjects should be taught later. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

We have witnessed that Parents spending ample of money on their children's parties .Some believe thatIt is waste of money and this trend is getting worse. What do you think about this? Do parents have any solution to this issue ?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?