the chart gives information about entertainment venues and their admissions in 2009

the chart gives information about entertainment venues and their admissions in 2009
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the chart gives information about entertainment venues and their admissions in 2009
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This
Linking Words
given chart represents and illustrates specific elements related to entertainment including the locations.
In addition
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, the ratio of attendance in 2009 and fees packages for families or individuals. Divided into three main venues sports, theme parks and cinemas.
According to
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the two diagrams below that show us the range in millions of admissions, cinemas had a noticeable number.
Moreover
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, theme parks reached approximately 370m visitors and the minority is sports 170 million. Football had three various types, with
also
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three different prices 71 to 75
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, from 280 to 298
dollars
Use synonyms
for family tickets. The lowest cinema fee for one ticket is 15
dollars
Use synonyms
and the for four people is 55
dollars
Use synonyms
. To summarise, the bar and table below explain data for entertainment events in 2009.
Besides
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, the variety of options for sports activities
also
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theme parks and cinemas.
Additionally
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, the prices for each element that mentioned in.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words dollars with synonyms.
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