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Band 4

Many cities are now turning parks and farmland into new housing developments. Is this a positive or negative development?

#cities #parks #farmland #developments #development
It is registered that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
lands
 for farming and
parks
 are being
alterned
Correct your spelling
altered
 to
lands
 which are used for building new houses. In my opinion, in spite of numeral positive trends, there are negative ones as well. On the one hand, cutting down farmlands and
parks
 are turning them in place of residences will
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
nowaday's
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 needs. Mainly because of an increasing
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population, the authority should construct living places to supply them. To illustrate, in many countries people are experiencing
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
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 of accommodation.
Furthermore
, humanity can
transite
Correct your spelling
translate
transmit
 their lifestyle to
modern
Correct article usage
a modern
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 one
via
Change preposition
by
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 decreasing the amount of land for farming, because, urbanisation requests modern and developed activities from humans
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to farmlands.
As a result
, the government can enhance
due
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 reducing undeveloped work-field
as well as
 farming.
On the other hand
,
negative
Add an article
the negative
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 impact of building new houses
instead
 of
parks
 and
lands
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 for farming is that people may face
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some challenges
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are related to
Correct article usage
the suplement
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suplement
Correct your spelling
supplement
 of food, because of the fact that farmland
are
Change the verb form
is
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 the spot of products
of
Change preposition
for
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 meals. When it comes to
parks
, they are
main
Correct article usage
the main
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 places of entertainment and joy. If
parks
are vanished
Change to the active voice
vanish
have vanished
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, how can people entertain in their
leasure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 time? in conclusion, as everything has
positive
Add an article
a positive
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 and negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
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,
although
 positive aspects of
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of houses at the place of perks and
lands
 for farming are available, it has some negative elements.
Submitted by chartakinnovation on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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