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Band 6.5

In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies. What do you think?

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Introduction
In recent years, it is not surprising that the number of young people in some countries
,
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apply
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 little leisure
time
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, and are under a lot of
pressure
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 to work hard on their studies. In
this
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 essay, I will research the roots of the issue and some solutions to solve it.
Body · 1
On one hand, there are several reasons why youth in some countries are studying hard.
Firstly
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, the requirements for applying to some universities are getting higher than before.
For instance
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, based on the research, 50% of the youth in Japan prefer to learn,
instead
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 of hanging out with friends because there are so
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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many homework and case studies that should be done.
Thus
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, it takes so much
time
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 to catch up
the
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with the
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 materials of learning which are needed by them. The competition between students is
also
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 intense among others,
therefore
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 they should prepare well and cause a lot of
pressure
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to
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on
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 them.
Body · 2
On the other hand
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, they should concern for their mental health and body, because many academists believe that too much
pressure
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 causes the feeling of anxiety and stress for them.
Furthermore
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, I believe
the
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apply
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free
time
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 is needed in school.
For example
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, there is an extracurricular event which should be mandatorily followed by the students,
such
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 as camping with
the
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apply
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classmate or dancing classes,
then
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 it will reduce the negative effect and enable them to learn how to work as a team.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is understood young generations only have a little spare
time
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due to
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 academic purposes.
However
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, it is believed that to reduce the feeling of
pressure
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 and anxiety, there should be
a
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apply
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leisure
time
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 to take care of their mental health.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • high expectations
  • academic success
  • future success
  • competitive nature
  • modern education systems
  • top grades
  • prestigious universities
  • high-paying jobs
  • rise of technology
  • social media platforms
  • physical activities
  • relaxation
  • extracurricular demands
  • multiple responsibilities
  • economic factors
  • lower-income families
  • part-time jobs
  • academic pressures
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