In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard on their studies. What do you think?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, it is not surprising that the number of young people in some countries
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
little leisure
time
Use synonyms
, and are under a lot of
pressure
Use synonyms
to work hard on their studies. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will research the roots of the issue and some solutions to solve it. On one hand, there are several reasons why youth in some countries are studying hard.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the requirements for applying to some universities are getting higher than before.
For instance
Linking Words
, based on the research, 50% of the youth in Japan prefer to learn,
instead
Linking Words
of hanging out with friends because there are so
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
many homework and case studies that should be done.
Thus
Linking Words
, it takes so much
time
Use synonyms
to catch up
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
materials of learning which are needed by them. The competition between students is
also
Linking Words
intense among others,
therefore
Linking Words
they should prepare well and cause a lot of
pressure
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they should concern for their mental health and body, because many academists believe that too much
pressure
Use synonyms
causes the feeling of anxiety and stress for them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
time
Use synonyms
is needed in school.
For example
Linking Words
, there is an extracurricular event which should be mandatorily followed by the students,
such
Linking Words
as camping with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
classmate or dancing classes,
then
Linking Words
it will reduce the negative effect and enable them to learn how to work as a team. In conclusion, it is understood young generations only have a little spare
time
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
academic purposes.
However
Linking Words
, it is believed that to reduce the feeling of
pressure
Use synonyms
and anxiety, there should be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
leisure
time
Use synonyms
to take care of their mental health.
Submitted by adimk02 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • high expectations
  • academic success
  • future success
  • competitive nature
  • modern education systems
  • top grades
  • prestigious universities
  • high-paying jobs
  • rise of technology
  • social media platforms
  • physical activities
  • relaxation
  • extracurricular demands
  • multiple responsibilities
  • economic factors
  • lower-income families
  • part-time jobs
  • academic pressures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: